J,with her plans,her way of life.

Mooooved

2010-02-24T11:33:00.001+08:00

I have officially moved to jjoce.wordpress.com
But I might come back again someday. Haha!

Trace Me

2010-01-12T16:07:00.003+08:00

Stalk me, that's when I'm ready. Now not.

This blog contains 18 months of our memories.

I will be back, when I change my mind someday. :)

Many loves, J.

Iphone temptation.

2009-12-28T03:10:00.003+08:00

Im back to blog about me being tempted over getting an Iphone. Madness.

But I must trade in my lovely sleek jet if I want to get the Iphone at a MAD price.

Which I can't bear to, because it's a birthday gift from bb.

Pending pending pending.

And I can't sleep, because I have been browsing blogshops for loots, but I'm broke.

And I miss bb.

And I dread going back to work on tues.

And I know I have to work for 3 days before I can spend time with bb and my family for new year.

Merry Belated Christmas People!

Spent my Christmas Eve at Sentosa with that crazy bunch, went for the buang-prone luge ride 3 times, and then to Punggol End for Sakura Shabu Shabu Steamboat Buffet. $32.10 is a good deal, the Teriyaki Chicken Fillet is one word GODLY. Muahaha. But it was boredom after 12, this year our countdown was pathetically 'executed' at our dining table. -.- Headed to town for Sherlock Holmes, and I practically slept through the whole interesting movie. I was so tired, and I believe if bb only rode at 100km/h that night, I would have slept on baobei as well.

And Christmas, was the 'Traditional' Xmas Party at Godmummy's place.

Short-lived happiness, I'm still going back to work on Tues. Argh.

Long Live Viwawa

2009-10-30T16:04:00.003+08:00

Thanks to my two lil ones at home, I'm addicted to Viwawa again. And now I'm wondering how I should take it when I don't get to play when I start working on Monday. Crap. I took 2 weeks mc, and I'm left with no money this coming month. Tmr's payday, but I'm so not excited at all.

But again, it's Friday. So to say I'm seeing my botaklove again. Woohoo. Just waiting for time to pass, another 3hours. (: I predict this weekend will be a happy one. Don't ask me why, I'm just feeling good and nothing much could really piss me off I guess. Attending darling wanying's 21st party tomorrow, but I seriously have no idea what to wear for her rainbow theme. Think I need to drop by party zone for some clown costume. Haha. But yes, must be enjoyable I bet. (:

Okay, viwawa's waiting. Adios.

"It's been long baby, do you remember how I used to write something about you at the bottom of my post? Here's one, si botak I'm excited to see you today and thanks for telling me that the thought of me makes you smile. I love you."

Wink wink

2009-10-28T15:04:00.002+08:00

I'm bored of not blogging, it's been helllllooooong.
I've started working on 12th August 09, so since then I have NO TIME to blog at all. I'm not joking. My work starts from 9am and ends at 6.30pm. Yes, but the thing is my job has sudden OTs. Anytime, I might have to call off plans with my loves.

I'm lucky because bi's in camp, if not how would I survive. Haha.
My botaklove has hair now, he tried to style it but it only seemed a little neater. Poor him has to travel all the way to Choa Chu Kang for his 6 weeks course as a signaller. But well, because I hadn't been blogging, his course is ending on 3rd Nov. Haha.

We're together for 15months already, cool? I think time passes real fast now that both of us are super busy. But in a way, I miss him more, so weekends are my life. But the irony is weekends passes SUPER FAST. But well, what to do, wait lorrrr.

I just read what I wrote above and I think I don't know what to continue already. So goodbye, I'll be back, soon. ((:

That's it.

2009-07-28T16:39:00.002+08:00

First came the fever and the sorethroat.(it's over)
Now the bad cough and the flu.(ongoing)
Shit. Do I have H1N1?

Grrreat. I'm going to visit the clinic if I don't get better after today.
I want to swim, but yet I can't.
Doubleshits.

Goodbye and Hello Miss Sporty.

2009-07-21T23:31:00.002+08:00

And after wanying motivated me to swim for that 12 laps, I almost die. I've not been exercising for a loooooooong time and I'm like gasping for breath all the time. But alas, I did it lah, thank you so much lah love. (: Anyways, I want to be the sporty girl I used to be, to be exact, 7 years ago. Rofl. Call me MISS SPORTY please, anyone? I'm now a weak shit, feeling aches all over my body. Feel for me people. But no matter what, AM NOT GIVING UP, meeting up with her again for the next 12 laps.

Oh and boyfriend, I miss you. This is the second night without your call.
Tomorrow's my very important interview at Redworks. I so hope I could get a job but even I get, I won't get you a fireblade or even a super4. You wait long long. Haha.
Say GOOD LUCK TO ME from where you are luh.

XOXO, miss sporty.
p/s and I fucking want that high waisted skirt I saw. MUMMY PLEASE LEHHHHHHHH!

My Watermelon Boy.

2009-07-21T02:32:00.009+08:00

I finally see my boy in his camo-cream or camou-cream. Haha. He totally look like a watermelon can, haha. Anyway, the pengkias don't look so funny from side view with just part of their face covered with the edible cream, he's just lazy to put on full camo lah that's why. So in the end, I had some of the cream on my face. And I rrrreeeaaalllly want to put it on as well. Maybe I will put it on his next book out. I will post it my watermelon face up someday. Stay tuned!

And then, here's my boy with the blingbling saxophone. Super chio, it costs 600 over bucks, but it's not his property. This blingbling belongs to Aaron. He played 'Nothing's gonna change my love for you' at some carpark opposite tampines mall for us, super crazy, because everyone stopped and looked from afar. Very nice though. So babylove tried it out at home, to no avail lah, obviously. But well, he got the 'seh' or not? Hahaha. See his very-into-it face!

Anyway, he's out to field camp for 5 whole days. So he can't talk to me for 5 whole days. He can't say good night to me for 5 whole days. He's just going to mia for 5 whole days. Rwarr.

P/s Just changed my blogskin to something more different. Plus, my apologies to many MJ tracks on my blog. Just sad that the king of pop is dead. Rest in peace.

Chapter 5; what happen to the girl who MIA?

2009-07-17T04:50:00.007+08:00

All the snapshots, mostly me and him.

Enjoy the botak photoshoot.

And it includes the blingbling I've been saying on FB.

The blingbling is for a cause, a one year mark for me and him.

We're together for 1 year already, on the 14th! I got alot of 'OMG! SO FAST!' from friends, and yeah, how time flies. 365 days leh. The last time I took notice of the days we were together, we

were still at our 100th day. Haha. But well, I feel happy, as I seem to be. After all the ups and downs we went through, I'm glad to say there are more 'ups' and lesser 'downs' now. At least for now. Problems will still surface one day, but I guess we'll be up to it to overcome, I guess. (:

Chapter 4; what happen to the girl who MIA?

2009-07-17T04:40:00.007+08:00

Oh yeah man, during his 2 weeks confinement, I spent most of the time doing a makeover to my room. It is a successful Xtreme Makeover. Now I stay at home most of the time, love my room tooooo much.

At the beginning when my whole family except mummy(she's not IC of paintworks) are in action, and my 2 little ones with the child roller and the baby roller. Very cute.

And this is a snapshot of my mummy and geraldine.

Guess why my sister covered my mummy's face with her little hand.

Because she shouted at me saying, 'NO! Don't take mummy's photo! Don't let you take!"

Haha. And my mummy got so pek chek with her after that.

Chapter 3; what happen to the girl who MIA?

2009-07-17T04:29:00.003+08:00

This is boyfriend's first bookout! After that two weeks confinement. I actually waited another two weeks. I even joked with him that this relationship we have is about waiting for him. Wait and wait and wait. But okay luh, I didn't say I can't tolerate anymore. I'm still a good girl. It was really breathtaking when I waited for him at the interchange, I felt almost breathless and I am not kidding. I was so excited loh, and in the end my mr.Bangladesh Boyfriend emerged through the crowds. My first reaction was; 'Wah, you very black sial.' plus the mushy stuff which you people will probably not want me to share.

Chapter 2; what happen to the girl who MIA?

2009-07-17T04:19:00.004+08:00

The shitty hot day when we chose not to walk under shelters.

This visual shows how pissed she was though she had a cup of bubble tea.

Yes, super spastic, we know. But darling, did you realise I'm a little violent towards you? Rofl.

This is a picture I fucking love.

Didn't know pretty girls could look so unglam.

Haha, spare me!

Okay bye.

Still many chapters to go.

Such a chore, thanks to not having time to blog for so long.

Don't ask me why I chose to blog though I see it as a chore, I'm just preparing to show it to my grandchildren how happy I am. -.-

Chapter 1; what happen to the girl who MIA?

2009-07-17T03:56:00.008+08:00

A bad thing to stop blogging for sucha long time, now I don't know where I should start. I have many many visuals, but guess I don't have that much to blabber about. Oh, and because I have a personal blog with boyfriend, I've been blogging more there because he is in camp marching away. Lol. Anyways, I'm more or less adapted to life without him, on weekdays. But when the weekends come, I'm like a total crazy and love-deprived girl, sticking to him as long as I could. I even squat beside him when he shits, okay that's a joke I swear. Yah lah, I will stop the cheesy love-deprived thing.

Monopoly night with the girls. And I OWNED THEM! Muahaha!

Sentosa with my family. And I tell you, I rode that thing and crashed into some palm tree while on the route. Fcuk sial. At that time, I felt so OMG-WHERESTHEHOLE? And it was so embarassing when everyone was staring at me as I took the first step up that wobbly thing. Fun though, got the hand of it right at the end, when I was about to go to the finishing line.

to be continued...

HELLO JUNKIES

2009-07-13T17:10:00.001+08:00

Sorry that I am missing for such a long time. I will blog real soon. Like probably tonight. Hold on tight! LOL.

Near to 4 years and going strong, that gem.

2009-05-19T22:04:00.005+08:00

Listen to this song.
THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR

And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you

And if I should ever go away
Well, then close your eyes and try to feel
The way we do today
And then if you can remember

Keep smilin', keep shinin'
Knowin' you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Well, you came and opened me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you

Whoa, and then for the times when we're apart
Well, then close your eyes and know
These words are comin' from my heart
And then if you can remember, oh

Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times, in bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
Oh, that's what friends are for

Whoa... oh... oh... keep smilin', keep shinin'
Knowin' you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Keep smilin', keep shinin'
Knowin' you can always count on me, oh, for sure
'Cause I tell you that's what friends are for
For good times and for bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for (That's what friends are for)

On me, for sure
That's what friends are for
Keep smilin', keep shinin'

I have a best friend, and it's only except for the fact we don't have blood ties, if not she's like a real sister to me. On my birthday last year, she went to Arizona, to start a family together with her husband who's working there. So like I said, last year's birthday was that a great day to me. Anyways, she won't be back till december so it means she's going to miss my 21st birthday. And hello best friend, I so hope you can be here okay, I will enjoy myself but it's going to be way BETTER if you're around.

We don't talk oftenly on the phone, she's busy with my godson, I'm busy with all the random things, and so when we talk we have so much to catch up I seriously dont know where to start. But all the time when we talk and when I start to miss her more than I'd always been, the inner me will start to sour and then I will burst into tears. (I think she knows how to imitate my poor cries because I'm always crying to her) She's away for "HELLO! NEAR TO 10 MONTHS!" already but I guess the bond is strong enough because we still miss each other so much. And, it'll always be the same. Initially, we did go through rough patches in this friendship itself. She will always tell me, 'look, it takes 2 hands to clap.' So true, it applies in every relationship can. But finally now, I guess we did that, so I strongly believe even when she's back, things will be the same for us, even better.(:

Anyways, dearling its okay that we won't be able to hang out like we always did in the past after you're back home, understand that you have little Javien with you it's going to be tougher. But well, isn't it good that I've already stopped having much nightlifes now? So when you're back, we can always go shopping, chill at a corner, together with Javien? By then you need to go home, I bet I'm deadbeat as well. I'm awaiting for your comeback everyday, boyfriend yearns for you to come back too, cuz he'll always see me tear and get 'emo' every now and then, I don't know how long he can survive. Haha. No matter what, I still do call you when I'm upset, I hope you'll do the same because unless I'm really busy at that moment, I will be there anytime. (:

Lastly, I will never ever forget you because michelle aw, you're my best friend!
Told you, now that I'm typing all these out, I'm feeling not too good again.
Haha, but will be fine, still a few months to endure and you'll be back to make me tissue roses again.

Botak I am going to cheong!

2009-05-13T22:04:00.003+08:00

Oh I am officially leaving NAFA, for good, and that's if I pass my last 2 modules.
Anyways, I will just take it that I have graduated, till then.
Now, I am too free so I have the time to count down to the day baby enlists into army. Oh no!
That soon-to-be botak is going to be mia for 2 weeks.
(the blog title is a fake)
But well, I can get a job and go for hardcore retail therapy. Again, till then.

I think I lost touch with blogspot for too long, I can't think of anything to blog about.
So, yeah, I'm publishing this post as it is, and will blog again someday.

WAIT! Something INSANE.
Seriously, as insane as it is, I knew of someone who photoshopped her cleavage using brush and liquify tool. Adobe photoshop, aren't you a genius for bimbos? Tsk.

Like he always tell me, photos can lie. So true, too many live examples.

And, take a look at this video. Funny!

4th June 2009

2009-04-24T22:35:00.003+08:00

( SIGH )

Just 41 days before he enlists into army.
It feels like tomorrow, and I'm already feeling the tension.
I expected it, expected this day to come, but now that it's so near, I'm starting to feel lost.
Though it didn't feel as bad as it was then, but there's still tears, despair.
I wish for time to pass really slowly, so we could have more time together.
It's a bad timing for us actually, I am so busy with my school, you're going to be so busy with your work. Hopefully we could have some time. Hopefully.

As I blog, I'm listening to our song, 'fall for you'.
I kept crying, mind all blank, my throat feels tight while I'm here trying my best to hold my tears back.

Time flies, we are together for 9 months already. Had all the ups and downs like all the couples around, not forgetting the lovely share of joys and laughters, sticking to each other all the time. Time will slowly allow me to adapt to not seeing him on the weekdays, I know and I believe I will pull through. I know I can be independent, but it gets me worried about how tough his bmt is going to be... well... I am confident he will be fine because it's him.

I will wait for you, big bully.
I will wait for you, my precious boy.
We'd gone through the toughest time together, we will pull through this together.
I believe so.

'Absence makes one miss, remember?'
2 years from now, I hope, really hope for us to still be the same.

Though our future still seem bleak, I hope we can walk together for now till we can't.
But again, baby I hope you're my last.

p/s tonight will be night that I will fall for you, over again, dont make me change my mind.
And this picture, for you.

Telepathy.

2009-04-12T00:02:00.004+08:00

I was in front of his com, and I changed my facebook status to "Joce Lyn wants a happy little treat."

I'm very sure he wasn't able to look at it because I was the one who switched off his com.

It's been awhile since he gave me surprise little treats, and suddenly he just came out of SPC with little treats for me! Oh love,I am a happy girl tonight.

Is that the telepathy everyone's talking about?
Yes it is,mr boyfriend.

p/s I conclude you look like a black cat when I squeeze your face,now you know another way of making me burst into hysterical laughter when i'm pissed the next time.you look cuuuuuute.

Sneeze please, my best friend.

2009-04-10T22:09:00.004+08:00

Good Friday.

And also the day I miss my best friend exceptionally alot.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH GONG! (though you 'hmm pat' blogger)
I ended up at Ang Mo Kio central just now,ended up with missing her so much.
The very familiar place I used to hang out with her, the clinic she went to, the coffeeshop we had supper at, the paths we used to walk as we gossip and gossip and gossip, and I was so near to the stone bench which she sat down and cried so badly.)_=

You know,I miss you so much.
Went past your house,saw that bus stop,and suddenly along the way,I kept thinking,flashing back to the days where we shared so much joys and pains.Am still waiting for you to come back so I could give you a big big hug.By the time you are back,so many things have already changed,but no matter what I hope the bond we have will still be the same.I can't wait luh!(:
And when you're back,it's time for me to contribute my part as Javien's godmummy.I also want to be a mummy,but I can't for now so I'll dote on Javien like my own!Haha!

Anyways,I think I should post pictures today,because it's so wordy.
Mr.boyfriend,I think I'm being really sweet just now,3 cheesy messages at a go.Happy right?
Lol!Though you're the most irritating and fierce boyfriend I ever had,you mean alot to me okay?*I can feel you going 'what siolllll?' now* Lol.But yah lah,you're also extremely sweet and lovely racer lah.I looooooooooooooooove you my bitchy boy.

p/s Do you know you seriously nag like my mama and bitch like those typical gossipmongers at the market?But still,yo the best siolllll!

It's a happy good friday with baby by my side and my best friend in my heart.(: cool luh.

I swear I miss you too bookworm babe.

Dearling, you are the best friend I'm talking about, you are not stupid right?

I kinda miss my extensions. lol.

Imperfection.

2009-04-08T23:44:00.002+08:00

Helloh. (:

I have been so busy recently, all the weekends burnt and etc:
So I'm sorry I couldn't manage my time properly, dividing it for everyone.
I'd been hearing some remarks which I dont want and dont feel like explaining.
I wont hint out on anyone for further troubles and stuff.
So yeah, letting it be will be the best solution.
No one's perfect, I am not too.
If being busy is an excuse in your eyes, then I dont have a reason to explain.
-.-

Anyways,chermont lau,I dont know why you didn't reply me but I do hope we could meet up soon because we have alot and alot to catch up with.So when are you free?Like we could have dinner or supper together or something?With Nicole?She's lost right?Meet up sooooon!

Perhaps recently weren't too good for me and baby.
Nope,no dramas in our relationship, more of facing with stress and stress and stress.
Baby,no matter what,I strongly feel we will pull through together.(:
It hurts to see you hurt luh.

p/s I hope to always be the one attending to you when you're hurt, stressed or upset in many
years to come. (*: Dimpled smile baby!

Man and Boy.

2009-03-25T21:29:00.002+08:00

I just finished reading a book I borrowed from Chermont, 'Man and Boy'.
It was really nice, kept me occupied in the middle of the night till I feel my body bugging me for some good sleep. It was about this extra-marital affair this guy had, a one night stand which ruined his marriage. Just one night, and it's game over. And I can't forget one sentence extracted from the book; "The joy of a meaningless sex should never be underestimated". Yeah, it shouldn't. Men. I hope a relationship isn't so complicated, why are there so many men who could sleep around and go back home telling their wife how much they are loved. Or even more senseless when they go around telling their friends how much they loved their wife, sleeping around was just to show how much of a normal men they were. Bullshit.

I know for me, it was never like that. Or to begin with, I'm never once a man. I might have foul in a relationship before, might have fall for someone else when I was in a relationship with someone, might have been out at the zoo enjoying myself when my boyfriend was sick at home waiting for me, might have deleted unforgivable messages before meeting up with my boyfriend, might have asked someone else to hold my bag for me when I don't even request that done with my own boyfriend, might have agreed to someone's offer to piggyback me, but I never did sleep with another soul, when I am in a relationship.

Of course I know in some aspects, I can't escape the fact that I 'did' commit a betrayal. But still, to be compared with those men, my offence was so much more of a forgivable act. But again, I never did feel I was forgivable. Whatever, why am I talking about myself?

Anyways, it was a great book, a book which nearly brought me tears.
And I think I should really cry, cuz it's the 2nd book I finished reading after so many years.
Thank you Chermont Lau, you didn't sssave my life but well, you did change me.
A promise that I won't 'siam' at the sight of books if you want to head to borders one day okay?

________

So long since I blogged, I'm clueless why I'll start off with the title of a book. Hormonal change. Lol. Recently, I had been busy, with boyfriend's stuffs and my own. It's been so many weeks since we went for a movie, not in the right mood for one and what's worse I was sick for a few days already. Walking zombie. Get well soon and I can be crazy again. Because of this, I hadn't met up with Mia, and it's too late to meet up with Wenhui & co because he's probably on his way to Cambodia. Bon voyage brother, have a safe trip!

________

I think it's really time to doll myself up, get a job and continue dolling myself up. Been rummaging through my old clothes, and I seriously need new clothes. Quick money quick. I need some real retail therapy. And Brenda, I need some super affordable shopping spree! Haha, wait for me! (: I want my eyelashes, my MAC jet black eyeshadow and that black sandals I spotted the other day!

________

All the ups and downs, sometimes it's so unbearable.
And with my temper which is making a u-turn back to me, it's even worse.
Boyfriend's been a little impatient nowadays, I've been a little aggressive.
It was just luck which stopped the few quarrels which almost started.
But hell yeah, we held it good.
So, hopefully all these will disperse with the wind soon.
I love you luh bodoh.
LOL.

Borrred.

2009-03-10T21:58:00.002+08:00

And I dont know how long it will take to download 'adobe premiere'. Dammit.
Feel so much like knocking out now. -.-

A random note:
Some questions are rushing through my brains.And as usual,I can't stop it neither could I solve it.Maybe because it's the time of the month for me,so I've been rather cranky recently.Cranky cranky.I'm easily tired,easily agitated.Or maybe recently the stress level is higher than usual,really strenuous on my part.But well,hopefully this will go away,and yes,job seeking continues on thursday.

P/S Dearling, I might be a little busy recently but will try my best to focus.Miss you!

Life's so boring.

2009-03-08T00:29:00.003+08:00

Yah,a random addition to my dead blog.

Sorry I hadn't been updating. Been tooooo busy with school and personal stuffs.

Soon enough,I hope,I'll be back with an update of my life.

Now,in some aspects,it's still in a mess.

Like for instance,I haven't got a job.

I hadn't been meeting up with all the people I've been missing.

Some,I chose to drift apart with.

Some,the close ones,I didn't have time to spare.

Some,I chose to give up because well well well...I'm leading a different lifestyle now.

Okay,whatever,I have not much idea what I'm blabbering about.

I'll blog again soon,seriously have no blog-mood.

Anyways,my head had been spinning like a spin top for a few days already.

Is migraine coming back?

And,my temper is coming back to haunt me.

I'd been temperamental,short-tempered,and I don't know how to handle myself.

Stress is eating up my long-lived happiness.(a few weeks)

Are you my real confidante?

Hello OLD SCHOOL.

2009-02-17T23:32:00.002+08:00

On the way home today,baby rode past my house telling me he have somewhere to bring me to.
We trespassed our primary school,haha.

Not exactly trespassing,but we roamed the school like we're still studying.Haha.except the fact that we are too overgrown for it.old people.haha.but it was really sweet,for that's the place our affinity began.

Thank you baby,you're so bloody loved by your racerJ.
But,I guess our primary school didn't cultivate us well enough...
Cuz the first thing we did when we stepped out of school,we lit a fag.

We should head there soon...again.(:

Scrabble!

2009-02-09T21:35:00.002+08:00

I added something new into my daily essentials(stuff that MUST be in my bag all the time,esp when chermont's around).It's a new trend to play SCRABBLE when we chill at dino.LOL.No matter how much mummy dissuaded me into spending money on this game,I persuaded and pestered her to get it for me.Daddy was there,lucky me.

Tmr we will set another trend for scrabble-lovers,we're going to play it on the train on the way to our 3 interviews.Wish us luck.

Valentines' Day is around the corner.
Who's free in the afternoon?
Want to go on a date with me?
Baby's busy till evening time.

P/S I love ******.DECODE!

The only place I can put love in pets.

2009-02-08T17:54:00.002+08:00

Muahaha.
Damn shiok.
Anyone need items for pet society?
I can give you any items,as an advanced valentines' day pressie.
-.-'' I know.

Baby's dota-ing.
I just finished petsociety-ing.
I'm blogging now for the sake of increasing blog posts,and after that I will start designing my namecard.Call me a good girl.

Professional Practice Module,I'm going to get an A.

Oh,randomly,I want to add on,my pet has vampire teeth.Double -.-''

I'm interested in life,uh-huh uh-huh.

P/S Had a 3 hour talk with daddy last night.Oh well,I'm just so fortunate to have a father like him.And of course,I love mummy and my 2 babies at home.(:

Resolution Add-on.

2009-02-07T21:57:00.002+08:00

When I'm 13,I'm but a immature ah lian trying hell best to break all rules in school. Stealing,fighting,quarrelling,smoking and playing truant was a trend.Disobeying parents was my biggest regret.

At 17,I grew out of it,a little.Yes,I didn't stop smoking,I didn't attend every lessons in NAFA,but other than that I'd grown.

Turning 21 this year,my mindset towards life made a huge turnover.
Part of it,it was some influence by people around that I decided it's time to have a goal.
Most of it,I'd grew out of all the craps that some I regretted doing;one of it I'd learnt to love my parents better.

I had ambitions when I was a little girl,haha,being a teacher or a doctor.Okay,that was insane.I can't be a teacher because I get impatient with kids in the long run.I can't be a doctor because I flunked my science paper.(i supposed it's linked?)Now that I'm graduating in a few months time,I'm seeking a goal.Many around is,serious.Chermont used to be someone with no ambitions(from what I know),now she's seeking for a goal too.For an ex-ahbeng like baby,he has ambitions,dreams and goals.And I guess he really did guide me in life because I feel guided right now.Thank you mr.boyfriend.Same old sayings from me,you really did make a grrreat impact in my life.Dearling,I'm not gonna exclude you cuz you guided me in life too.(:

That day I was at dino with Chermont,we spent an hour or so talking about our future,our own future.At that moment,I was suddenly very fess'ed up with life,my career and my family.I have 2 young punks at home,one 6 and one 11 this year.My dad is still working hard to provide for us while mummy is a housewife taking care of our daily needs.In no time I'm turning 21,it's time I start contributing to my family.Earn big bucks and help out.That's part of the reason why I'm so enthu into getting a job now,even before I graduate.Marriage to me was a big deal just months ago,because I always wanted to be a young parent like mummy.But now,it's placed behind my mind.In reality,I guess career comes first,in my case.I'm always career-minded,but only now had I realise how to go about being how I want myself to be.I'm doing everything step by step,having a planner which Chermont gave me is a start.I swear it's true,I don't know if you guys know what I mean.I just want everything to be scheduled out properly.And then,a job.

I'm ranting on and on I know.
But well,this is really how I want life to be now.
Anyways,I just realised on the 14th January,baby and I had been together for 6months already.But apparently,we thought it was just 5months.So on Vals' Day,it's 7months already.Time isn't waiting,so everyone should BUCK UP FOR A GOOD LIFE man!

Okay,blogging's over.
Will continue adding on resolutions if there's any.

P/S James Sin(my lecturer for professional practice)told us the other day,that in many minds,designers are cheap.But guess what,we are so not.So designers out there,we should be proud of ourselves.Haha.

P/P/S Jean(my lecturer for digital media production)and I had a talk for awhile the other day,and whatever she said brought me a step closer to my dream,a successful designer.

P/P/P/S Baby remember our deal aite?For now,we'll hold hands and work hard with our free hand.(:

Dear Michelle and her happy family.

2009-02-04T21:54:00.006+08:00

To make it up to my dear best friend in arizona,here's a post to show my sincerity!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU,HX,JAVIEN & GODMUMMY!

So sorry luh,too busy collecting ang baos and losing $ that I passed on this important thing lah!For this,you don't owe me any angbao okay?But hopefully next year I will get a bigger one.Anyway,I've been looking for a job these few days.In no time,Javien's godmummy will be a rich girl so I will buy many cute things for him okay?I love you la,a thousand apologies!So did you celebrate your CNY in the snow?Okay not funny.But well,I sincerely hope that you had enjoyed every bit of CNY this year...without me.(:

Missing you alot,STILL.
Tell you something luh,your name is still constantly mentioned in front of many people okay.Ask wy to prove this,or chermont.So don't say I'm making up a lie.

Nah,forgive me okay?
Dui Bu Qi luh!

Yours Sincerely,
Dearling.

And oh,for this,I will say HAPPY VALENTINES' WITH JAVIEN DAY 2009 beforehand.
and MERRY XMAS 2009!Paiseh la,your best friend is damn forgetful.Got influenced by wy.Haha.Love you sweetheart!

P/S PAISEH DEARLING.Photobucket got problem with that picture leh.Damn sad.I shall email you what I drew for you.(:It's not just 2 small oranges hor!

Happy CNY.a little late I know.

2009-02-03T00:14:00.008+08:00

Knock knock.
Who's STILL there?
I'm back to blog.-.-

Paiseh,with only two hands,I'd been busy collecting angbaos and gambling a little,so I have no time to blog.A good excuse.Whatever.I'm finally back with a post,after so long.Things are cool for me,now.Baby treats me,still like a gem.Enjoyed CNY la.But,I'm going to broke again!Anyways.I'm going to go for some hardcore job-seeking with chermont tmr.Excited to get a job for some special reasons.(: And then,I can save up and buy a ferrari.Okay joke.I can save up and be the vainpot again.I can treat daddy mummy to meals and baby,I can get you...something I want to get you.Haha.Lips are zipped with zipper plus superglue.Okay.I'm still a little lazy to type a composition today so enjoy photobucket fellow aliens!

Oh.anyways,baby here's my new wallpaper on my desktop.Chuck the old one,here's the new one.
________________________________________

________________________________________

Sweeeeet right,mr.boyfriend?

Fcuk my fingers.

2009-01-20T04:19:00.002+08:00

It's bad to have itchy fingers,if i don't then I won't have to find out so much.
Don't ask me why,I have no comments,nothing to elaborate.
Goodnight people,I finally force myself to at least feel sleepy.

-.-
Remember,no one asks anything.
Including you...and you...and all of you.

We Made LOVE.

2009-01-15T23:59:00.006+08:00

Don't you dare think dirty people.
Here's the loveliest picture taken today.
Baby you're so so loved,I mean it when I say it.

Love-filled thursday.

2009-01-15T23:18:00.012+08:00

School was crazily tiring today,I was rushing the whole day.
But it was a good day.Maybe because I sorted many things out already?

Anyways,I headed over to aljunied to meet up with bi after school today.
From there,we rushed back to tamp to look for ys.
Then,to vicom to pay his road tax.
And,to changi for yummylicious nasilemak.

3 people with 3 bloated stomachs walked to changi beach area;to digest their food and to take a breather.Recently wind's been howling like free I swear.I can feel it when baby rode me,even with a scorching sun.What's up la!So yeah,back to our walk,it was super windy,but I didn't fly.Lol.And tada~ the best time to camwhore with messy hair!

OKAY,bet you didn't know you are such a camgigolo too baby.It's okay,your girlfriend's a camwhore,very.Haha.

P/S why love-filled?just because you held my hand and bring me for a walk.(:

J is a crackpot tonight.

2009-01-15T01:25:00.006+08:00

Looking at the old wallpaper I have on the screen of my phone,it flashed back to the time I showed him my hand when he was in remand.

I hope I'm still able to comply the promise made...
because I want to,for him.

It's him,my other half.
I can choose to neglect many things in my life,for him.
I can do what I don't do for others,for him.
I can stop myself from doing what I always love to do,for him.
I can dote on him more than I love myself.
Yes,to that extreme.

What made him so special,so different from other men in my life,that I can do everything just to show my love to him?It's his smile,his contagious laughter and his love.

It's not that I don't trust him,but hell true,this world is a mess.

I'm getting tired of all the interrogations I used to resort to,so I won't.
I feel lethargic when I let my imaginations run so wild it almost crucify me.
All these should stop,because all I know is I love him,and I want to keep loving him.
Now,who cares about who where why.
At least for now,I don't.

I just hope god's not making fun of me.
I hope every retribution for all the bad things I had done,I have paid for it all just before I met him.

AND...

I enjoyed every sec of the 14th though it wasn't a date just for the both of us,because it's you I spent the moments with.Guess the loveliest thing that happened yesterday,...

"being your pillon,with you riding,with me hugging you ever so tightly as the wind howled like FREE!"

MIRACLE!

2009-01-14T22:21:00.005+08:00

Yesssssss!
My hard disk didn't die on me,it revived!
If it crashed,*shrugs*...I will cry like a river man.
Thank you hard disk,you are the memory keeper of my life.
Can't lose you and I'm glad you are still BREATHING!

I'm going to do a second backup in case,all the memories,my hardwork,I just can't lose it la.

OH,I have pink nails!Okay random.
At least my pink nails are able to make me a happier person today.

Not in a very active mood for anything now,having temporary mood swings.=X

Am going to rest my mind now.
I shan't think about anything,because even if I do,it is to no avail.
Now,my new year resolution is to be a happier person,to work hard in school as well as my upcoming job,earn big bucks so I can buy everything that I want.And also,be a better person.
So,J,listen good,you are not allowed to think too much,it will kill you.(:
And yes,I reply,'HELL YEAH!"(((:

Okay,I'm one-eyed monster,but no,it wasn't on purpose,haha.
I'm not a lian!

J SCREAMING FOR JOY!

2009-01-13T20:48:00.006+08:00

DRUM ROLLLLS and here's a piece of good news.The best thing that happened in 2009 till now.

"I fucking passed my fyp and all I need to do is to attend class every thursday from 12pm-6pm for a few months and and and I will get my DIPLOMA!"

NB,I'm all smiles and will probably smile to sleep tonight.
No more hardcore stress-piling projects to go through,for now.
And I'm heaving a BIG BIG SIGH OF RELIEF RIGHT NOW!

Met up with laura in school at 10am today.There was no class so yeah,as planned,we WALKED over to far east.And we SHOPPED for 4hours straight.lol.

PROs; I got my dresses,jeans,nail polishes and eyelashes!
CON; I'm a plaster queen today,ended up in 5 blisters thanks to charles and keith.f you.

Tonight will be the night,to be specific it's 12am,it's a special day for me and you baby.
I believe love was made, for the both of us.
It's 5 months we shared life,how lucky I am to have you around.
Thank you my love,sorry but you HAVE to be mine.

Back to SCHOOL! _|_

2009-01-12T22:40:00.003+08:00

Haha.Okay.middle finger is just random.
First day of school wasn't too bad.(:
Felt a little foreign because many of my classmates are NEW.
Samuel is in advertising now,so it's just the 5 of us left.But well,today 2 didn't turn up.
So Laura & I bought meehoon and a can of drink,got talkative and fagged like free @ the usual spot.So her new resolution is to be a better person,get her priorities right.Sama sama.
Headed over to bugis for shopping & we got ourselves some new year clothes,plus an identical 'EMO' printed teeshirt.We are dared by each other to wear to school so ya,bought.

Met up with baby at dino,with ys.
Showed them my EMO tee.lol.So baby gave me a -.- look.Haha.
Auntie cooked spicy but yummylicious spaghetti,there goes my sweat.
Anyways,bought a oversized dress with star prints,that cheeky boy of mine laid my dress on his computer table and said it was a tablecloth.(fuming mad)Haha.The funny thing is I forced him to wear it on,go to his mummy and say it's a top I got for him.And she laughed like mad.Haha.Baby always take up my 'dares'.So BRAVO you!

School is at 9am tmr.And during the few hours' break time,Laura and I are going for another round of shopping at Far East.I need clothes!((:

HOOORAY!

2009-01-12T01:07:00.002+08:00

Oh hello,I'm back with a new blogskin like I promised.Now this I love.Spend the last 2 hours making this blog work and tada~ here's the outcome.I fcuking love the colours can.I feel 2 words,'SO ME!'

Bi said,'a nice blog you have there'.WALAO~after all the laughs.Haha.But well,I love his compliments.(: School's starting tomorrow,and I feel quite okay for it.So work hard J,you can do it siol!Baby I'm turning now,promise.And,I am so happy happy happy.
Ecstatic.

GOODNIGHT people,and have you guys easily decoded the title of my blog?HAHA.middle finger to you if you can't decode.okay joke.

Attention!

2009-01-11T02:47:00.002+08:00

Haha.very good.I'd just make some kinda mess to my blog.No more VIBRANT colours.Oh fuck.I'm sickening.But,well,let it stay like that for a while,and I'll find a super 'chio' blogskin to replace this.Don't you people think you are in MATRIX right now!Nb.but not bad la.Something new.Just that I've to brainstorm on what I had placed in the old blog because it's permanently deleted.There goes my pictures,my songs and me&bi's countup timer.Damnit damnit damnit.

Anyways.I'm going to sleep now.My blog is fugly.Okay random.
Bi's going to laugh at the MAN-LY colour used.For matrix fanatics.
Whatever la.Pray for me,my next blogskin is going to be JUICY.

Goodnight and bye.

Sayonara Slacker.

2009-01-02T22:08:00.003+08:00

SHIT LA!
The thought of going back to school sucks.But well,it's a new start for me.I will make it a point to do even better for my fyp this time round.Have already endured for 6months,so another 6months won't be too long because I'm going to be fucking busy squeezing out every bit of my creative juices.I have alot that's why,HAH.So wish me good luck.My nafa clique,I'm back!Haha.
So slacker's gonna say goodbye to her holidays.6weeks just POOF-ed like free.

Boyfriend,a kiss for you because you accomplished what you should do these 3 weeks.It was tough I know,but look at it,it's a step nearer to freedom.So congratulations!No more choke slams,but I hope you won't do it on me.Haha.And,don't be upset anymore,you have a legendary joker girlfriend.Oh,plus,I hope I'll always be able to make you smile when you're down baby.

(,= <-Nah,my dimple smile.

2nd day of the new year,so far so good.(:

J:"MAY YEAR 2009 BE A FUCKING GD ONE SIOL!"

2009-01-01T23:28:00.006+08:00

HELLO EVERYBODY!
HAPPY 2009!

Ooh.So I'm rushing out a post right now because I want to finish it before the clock strikes 12.

Turn back time to year 2008.Uh-huh.I don't have a word to describe how good or bad it was.Mixed up.But for one I know,year 2008 brought me countless setbacks,facing the very-drama-mama situations that maybe not everyone would need to go through.Oh,I met a jerk,that I have to emphasize.To add on,this jerk treats me like a f.o.c bookie.He thought of himself as a successful casanova,he looked down on my ability to expose his neverending lies.Maybe not everyone got the opportunity to listen to how bad a liar he was,so I'll pronounce it here,loud and clear.(don't turn on your speakers)Apparently,this jerk hung up on his ex-gf's call and acted like he was updating his friend on manutd's score on a particular night.He was basically talking to himself till his ex-gf called again and yah,a very direct way of exposing his stupid lie.Fuck you pinocchio!But he is good for a reason; he indirectly took revenge for someone whom I hurted.My retribution.Yah,him.How bad 2008 was for me,it can't be compared to how fucking bad it was for him.But well,it's over and we are friends now.

Meeting you,yes you racerw,was one of the greatest things that ever happened in my life.And though you made me cry in primary 4,though you are still as irritating as ever,I'm happy to have you.And,I must mention this;you are still making me cry after so many years.Well,this commitment,you and me,was something never expected to be.But,it happened.Life since the day we met again,it was good,besides the times you weren't able to be here for me.Tada,here's the drama-mama situations,my determination stronger than the norm,I waited for someone I never expected to have fallen hopelessly in love with.The biggest thing he went through in 2008,it was bad but yet a blessing in disguise,right?Because that was the moment I knew he's more important than a friend who was there for me during my lowest point of life.Anyway,I have no idea when I had started loving him.Question mark.Thank you for coming into my life since the second half of 2008,at least I have one word to describe how life was;FUCKING IN LOVE.(: And I hope for the coming new years,my resolution will still be trying even harder to keep our love strong.We've endured together the bad times,this far,backing out is the last thing on my mind.So let's strive for a better life together.Oh,together with our baobei too.Bibi,I love you,let's share life together with our small eyes.Okay,doesn't rhyme.A new year kiss for you!

And I hope 2009 will bring US,my family and friends the bestest things.

Do I get an angbao for saying this?It comes from my heart,so anyone who's generous,call me and I'll give you my magical posb account no.($._.$)

And,thank you for making 1st January 2009 such a lovely one.I love you my racerw.

Fabulous Xmas!

2008-12-26T15:27:00.003+08:00

Thank you love,for making Christmas day such an awesome one.

P/S I love you.

Hello Mr.Black

2008-12-23T15:18:00.006+08:00

o o h m y r a c e r w!

GOODNIGHT.

2008-12-23T02:22:00.002+08:00

And I hope I'll wake up with a smile tmr morning.
Because I'm still happy to have you around...

Need a SPARK.

2008-12-23T01:58:00.004+08:00

If a lollipop appears right in front of me now,I'll scream and give that person a hug.
"ranting away" I want a lollipop,I need one,I'm so going berserk!

For no reason.I feel happy though,but something in me is changing,stirring me up from time to time.Like out of a sudden,I'll go 'oh my god,why did I just say out?' I'm blurting out things I didn't want to,but well,I guess it didn't offend a single soul because my life is still at peace now.

But still,I need a SPARK.need something different.
need a moment of silence or a heart-to-heart talk at the beach with someone close.
and dearling,you aren't here.no one is going to walk with me along east coast park,sit somewhere and talked like as though we have all the time in the world (we usually end up in cabs,-.-).Sadness will always overcome itself when I'm with you,you will never fail to make me laugh,sometimes I have to even gasp for breath because you're too insane,and I miss you hitting me when you go insane through laughter.as I blog,my tears rolled down,I guess I need you around.Maybe I don't need you every single day because I have a boyfriend now,but something I know,I know I need you around to share with me my joys and pain.nabei la.faster come back will you?

P/s don't worry dearling,nothing's wrong with me,just a gush of emotions flowing through.I'm happy now,with everything.(:

God knows what's up with me,I don't know.I can be so happy this minute,and become as quiet as a mute the next second.That's why I say something is really changing in me.Hormonal changes??OH NO!I'm no more the 24/7 hyperactive happy shit,more like a part time nowadays.Maybe it's due to things that have been happening recently,that I won't elaborate,because I'm quite used to handling problems myself.

Okay,I tell myself I'll enjoy xmas 2days later and come up with a better plan on how to be a happier person.Adios!

Lollipoppin' Fun!

2008-12-22T22:54:00.004+08:00

Boooring.
But whoosha,xmas is coming!
What's santa claus lao uncle getting me?Nothing.
What's mummy getting me?I want lollipops!A whole bouquet of them!
Mummy please leh.

Whatever.
People read and they'll know I'm bored.
But again,Xmas is coming and...
Oh!DEARLING,

Merry Xmas to YOU,HX & JAVIEN!
Remember to buy red socks to put on your head this xmas,maybe santa will give you a kiss cuz you act cute!Muahaha.JOKE la.Miss you so much okay!Enjoy this special day in Arizona,with warmest love from your ahlian best friend.

I miss you
I miss you
Miss you all the way
La la la,la la la la la
I miss you all the way!
HEYY!
"inspired from jingle bells,that outdated song"

Thank you my best friend.

OOSHA,my colourful blog.

2008-12-20T01:38:00.003+08:00

Hello people.I'm ungrounded,self-acclaimed news.
Brought my darling cousin to FAHRENHEIT's concert earlier and I tell you I feel weird.-.-
I can't really blend into those young dudes anymore; and I don't seem to be able to shout together with them,so is it a good or bad that I'd grown out of this? But no matter what,I still enjoyed,something different and I feel YOUNG siol.
p/s my precious girl,stop cheating my $ to buy crackers and i'll never forget you slurp the milo i bought for wy korkor.lol.

Haha.So do you people like my blog's new vibrant colour?I'd gotten a little sick of the black,red and white colour scheme (though fyi,they are still my fave colours).Just thought of changing my colour scheme to this because it's colourful enough to 'motivate' me to blog more frequently.If not,that kaypo dearling is going to rap about my dead blog.Oh yah,I know I say this all the time but well,I miss you.And another reason for these colours,it represents my mood.I'm a happy shit siol.

Anyway,xmas is coming and I'm excited.(though I'm going to be at bi's house when the clock strikes 12)It's okay,I'm still ecstatic.(though bi's probably going to say merry xmas to the santa claus in his atlantica!(his game))Haha.nah just a joke,and YOU better prove to my loves it is a joke.Damn it,I miss you.Xmas is coming,which means to say it's closer to saying goodbye to 2008.Wow.I'll blog soon about my new year resolutions plus a whole lot of things I'd been through this 1 year.

i wonder how you are sometimes...
and i hope you are going on fine.
my apologies for every scar inflicted on you,truly so.
the last xmas was with you,i'm sorry this time round i can't be there.
thank you for everything,for bringing me through life for 3 long years.

I blogged with my MIDDLE FINGER.

2008-12-17T23:20:00.004+08:00

and i think this joke (d abovementioned) will last you guys for some time because I'm going to isolate myself for awhile.
KNNBCCB TO ALL THE BAD THINGS!
nah.here's a little of the rebellious me.wow.rebellious.what a word.this word should be used in a post 5years back.oh come on.it is made out of no choice.my apologies.I hadn't felt so cranky for a very long time already,because no matter how tough life was,it was good and worthwhile.But this time round,it's bad like fuck.Guess why?Hah.stop guessing cuz no one will ever get it right.
FUCK TO ALL THE NONSENSE!
a post with numerous vulgarities.very crude.but I can only vent it here because I have no more licence to kick my door,bang my head against the wall or punch my fist into my poor cupboard.someone save me please,I'm in 'belated teen-age crisis'!Have you people ever got pushed mentally to one corner,already cramped enough but someone just have to push you like the wall behind you is invisible.oh yah.they just did that to me.wow wow wow.like maciam you don't know how much it hurts on my part when you keep pushing me.so when i roar out loud,you shall then stop isn't it?So RWARR!Could they please back off,I'm suffocating and stressed.Now I'm laughing at what I am typing.Goodness me.

Why 17th December 2008 a bad day for me?
Answer: Because I'm like a jinx,I quarrelled at home,quarrelled when I am out,quarrelled again when I came back.So who is the jinx,it's me.

So what am I going to do next since I'm the jinx?
Answer: I won't have my meals,I will hibernate,I won't get out of my room unless I need a bath or pee relief,and so I'm not getting outta my house,and I need to add this on,I WILL GET OUT OF MY ROOM IF THEY INITIATE A WAR AGAIN.

BLOG-SHOUTING WITH A POINTED MIDDLE FINGER,PROUD TO PRESENT IT LIKE A THUMBS UP!
(anyway,I'm not doing this in reality right now,don't you worry.)

catch me if you can.peace la sial.
okay,that's out of sudden crankiness,yet again.

anyway,boyfriend you need not worry,I'm fine.
and I haven't thank you for fetching me from katong when you were already so tired.
not yet said but very appreciated.
good night,we argued but I still love you.

Same like before.

2008-12-05T01:04:00.004+08:00

The last time we met up as a group,it's like ages ago.Met up with adeline,gene,lynnz and boyfriend for dinner on tuesday.Oh my everything was just like before.(: Felt really happy that night,but lack of michelle,lili and jeannie.My dear michelle is in arizona enjoying life,lili was busy with work and couldn't make it at the last minute.Jeannie,she's missing in action.What if one day all of us meet up,will it be happy like before?Those times we cried our eyes out together,listening to the one confiding.Those times we do stupid stuffs,ending up with neverending laughters,those times we had chalet once a month,suppers at geylang and staying over at a lok-kok hotel together?Gosh,if time could turn back I hope we didn't have to dispense this friendship over childish issues.I was telling them that day,to ask me to think back about the bad things that happened,I could barely remember already.We've all grown up isn't it?Anyway,it was an awesome night out with the girls,and I can't believe I did so many crazy things in the past.Haha.Thinking of it just make me laugh like nuts.

Dearling you should be here man,I guess all of them miss your laughter as much as I do.(:
Girls,we will meet up soon again right?Hopefully the rest will join us.And dearling,if you want to join,I can always bring a webcam out,without the laptop.Haha.I'm joking.Goodnights.

These few days have been peaceful,lovely.
With him around,how bad could life be?He just have to dance like john travolta,imitate like a gay,act like a little boy and walk like an ah beng,I'll laugh the whole day already.and sometimes in my sleep.haha.Boyfriend you're so loved.

You made things worthwhile,for you I'm willing to do everything.

Shuffles!

2008-11-28T23:55:00.004+08:00

I've returned with a happy post,something I've been yearning to do since don't know when.I'm not missing,and actually I've been HAPPY for almost a month already.When I deleted the widget on the sidebar just now,I told myself, 'great,everything's gone for good!'

This one month was hectic,but at the same time,time was mostly spent with HIM,yes him.The wait was worthwhile,and as true as I thought,our relationship took a step,no,a few steps to a deeper level.What more could I ask for,that now he's out,that he could be felt,that he's right beside me again.Of course taking this step isn't easy,complications did arise because his freedom is like a new fresh life,a new path for both of us to move on.There's many things that we have to adapt to.But adjustments have made it work,made us work.Hopefully the next one will make us even stronger than we expect.But oh well,things are good,beyond words could say.(: Anyway,I must really show my gratitude to people like chermontlau and nicolechua for being there.To show my gratitude,I will meet up with you girls more in the night.Haha.I ain't a night person for months already know.Will make it for the next visit to HONEYpub.LOL.

Anyway,one semester is over,and omfg,I'm like left with half a year to go before I could officially get my dip and f off from that school once and for all.Good news should be shared,I passed my assessments man.Whoosh.A sigh of big relief sial.

Holidays will last till 4th January 09.Cool.But I have yet to find a job.Great.Hopefully someone nice out there will choke up with a part-time job for me sometime soon.Anyway,been READING on a book,'The Rules Of Life'.My first book after so many years.WOW.ya,it's amazing because I learnt things!It's good to be able to know how to make life better for yourself isn't it?Like from improving on yourself,to your relationships and family ties.Go buy it man!I will take a long time to complete this book so don't bother waiting.First of all,I learnt to READ,den the contents of the book follows on.haha.Seriously,I feel I have opened up to everything,from friends to relationships.I'm like a changed person sial.

Anyways.
I'm missing many people.
And of those I miss,dearling I miss you badly.called you but no one picked up.
Hope life's good for you over there,hope you are showered by manymanymany love and care everyday and it's almost 3 months that you left sg,hope you're adapting well to life,esp without your bubbly cute noisy best friend,me, around.loves and IMISSHUGS!(:

Okay,adelinekoh,you're missed too so dont kb.i'm seeing you next wk.

期待

2008-10-31T19:55:00.004+08:00

I wonder how I'm going to persevere through the whole hearing,
I know it's gonna be breathtaking because baby it's the last call.
But well,everyone has high high high hopes you'll be fine.
Me too.Okay,relax jocelyn.____

Today's a normal day in school but cliques saw radiance on my face.
And deep down I know why,you are the reason.
Boyfriend,I know you'll be fine,right?
Yes,another reason for me to smile.

(': The dimpled smile you love,here you go.

RacerW,he's my panadol.

2008-10-30T20:58:00.003+08:00

The only panadol I consume,addictive and addictive.
He healed me.

I might sound another time like a maddog but after I visited him today,I felt all fine.I still went for breakfast with auntie,shopped around with her,happily took a bus to chermont's place,laughed at kangxi,laughed at my alltime fave hk movie,burst into laughter instead of tears when I thought of him doing funny stuffs,and decided to go on a movie date with her because I felt happy today,and because I saw you boyfriend,and I see the day coming finally,no more 22 days,no more 10 or 9....etc days.To make it short,it's only a weekend I got to endure,and I know I'm strong enough for that.That explains my tearless goodbye this morning.Quickly love,I've got a little little surprise for you.

Anyway,catched THE COFFIN.and I fcuking swear it sucks.Plus we were surrounded by a whole cohort of GINNAS cursing and swearing,the BENGS whistling to half-nude scenes and the LIANS screaming for nothing and the UNCLE with his family that yawned so loudly he thought he was home!And I swear I'm not lying,my best friend CHERMONT LAU actually turned around and ask them to SHUT UP.Oh gosh.You guys should have been there.It was impressive.LOL.But I knew one of them thou,so maybe that's the most genuine reason why I did not flare up.Anyway.homesweethome after movie.I'm a good girl waiting for her good boy.(:

I'm addicted to you,one and only one.

A Quote.

2008-10-29T16:56:00.002+08:00

FOR YOU BABY.

"Distance never separates two hearts that really care,

for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there.

But whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you,

I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone

... so special to miss."

Bad Day.

2008-10-29T15:20:00.003+08:00

Damn.I'm sick again,sick for the bloody second time within 2 weeks.The same symptoms.And because of the massive headache,fever,sore throat,gastric,all the pukings and pains all over my body,I can't visit you!)): Baby,I heard you're sick too,coughing badly?Gosh.Please take good care of yourself baby.I miss you,the same.Though I know I'll see you really soon,everyday still pass really slowly.Have you been missing me?Cuz I sneezed.(: If not you,then it must be some other guys la is it?Lol.

Baby,no matter what I'm seeing you tmr,even if I need to drag myself there.I need to see you,you're like my daily dose.And at the rate that I'm talking about you the whole time in front of chermont,she said you are my atlantica.And I said,'WOW.true.he's my DOTA,COMBAT ARMS,blahblahblah.'So how much you love gaming,I love you that much,and probably more than that.The outcome we went through together,it's finally coming to an end.But now,the most crucial outcome we have to go through once again on the third.I seriously hope you'll hold my hands in the car,back home.3 weeks,very enough already.Another week will just make me faint and I miss eating DINNER!Okay,that's a sad joke.Quickly get out of there,come back to me.I guess my posts are far too emotional.When you're out,every post will be a happy one I know.Because,I'm steadily prepared for the aftermath.I love you.like more than loving myself.

SEE YOU TMR BELOVED.
And thank you babe,for covering my head with your book under that scorching sun.You're like sweeter than wy,because he only use his hand to cover my head when it's raining,which didn't help much.But well,actually his way was more love,because he does every little thing for me.Baby,please don't stop doing that,I love it.((: And babe,okay,both of you are equally love.OKAY?((:Sad people contradict.

Contradictions,so near yet so far.

2008-10-28T02:54:00.002+08:00

For these 2 over weeks without you around...I think the amount of tears let out from within me could already fill up to pails and pails,no joke.Sometimes they will flow when I'm closing my eyes,trying to walk into dreams.And sometimes,they will be all soaked in my pillow when the mornings come.And I thought I did say every second was a step to cuddle in your arms once again.Hence,I thought I would feel better as each day passes.But now,I felt my assumptions are merely mistakes,I am wrong.

Yes,chermont said it's so near yet so far.She totally understand what I meant,totally.
Every day nearer to feeling your everything again,I feel further away from you.3 weeks of painful bearings,I can't feel your hugs anymore.Slowly as each night passes,I feel stranger to everything about you,I lost the feelings of your hands and body.

Baby,I need you back.I know it's very contradicting,but that's exactly how I feel.But don't you worry darling,because whatever feelings that are lost during this period of time,my heart feels the same,and in fact it got stronger and deeper everyday.When you're out,you'll see a girl in front of you,from her tears you'll realise how deep and true her love is for you.I'm waiting,now more anxiously,for you to come back to where you belong to-beside me.I love you.And when I say love,it's truthfully love.Goodnight baby,sleep well,and I hope your back's not sore.

I love you
I love you
I love you
The three things I want you to know.

You've got the ace.

2008-10-26T03:33:00.002+08:00

And i think my dear you,you are dominating me.
I feel like the vulnerable one,no more the itsyourbad girlfriend.

And I miss you like crrrazy,if only you're here with me tonight.
And and,.. baby I don't feel sober,in a way.
I'm waiting and waiting,never was there a day I could sleep before I tear...
Till yesterday night,the first night I slept without having to tear..
But again,I woke up crying cuz I had a bad nightmare of you having another girl.

Gosh,can someone like save me?Because everyone's saying I look fcuking pale.
And is it a good thing my beloved houpapa said I slimmed down.No it's not.
I rather you feed me baby,to be what I used to be.I seriously feel unhealthy.
But I just can't swallow anything,can't drink anything besides liquor and beer.

Whatever.turning in.I love you baby,like your level importance just escalated to the peak.
Come back to me,I feel the need to hold your hands.
I feel like I needed a comfort cozy hug and only you could provide me with.
I LOVE YOU,GOODNIGHT BABY.

You're mine,I'm yours.

2008-10-23T21:57:00.010+08:00

Eyes on you,my racerw.

I miss you.

And,we're together for more than a hundred days already boy.
I miss you,miss you laughing at me when I scratch my nose.
I miss you,miss you teasing me on my chin.
I just miss you,can time pass faster please?

And,you know something?
I am so afraid I have to let you go one day.
I am fearful because the last thing I want is for this day to come.

Goodnight my darling boyfriend.
Will try my best not to cry to sleep tonight,
because I know you won't want to see my pale face.

Fallen between cracks.

2008-10-22T22:31:00.007+08:00

I yearn to blog with a smile.when is everything coming to an end?on the third.
Don't worry that single bit baby,I saw your reaction when you thought black bands aren't love no more.How would I put them away,it's our bond,it's with me 24/7.I'll safekeep them and return it to you on the third I promise.(:

Baby you know I miss you.

The days that felt like years,the minutes that felt like hours.
RacerW,however long,I'll still love you the same.
And I want to say something you said to me before,'you aren't a burden,you are part of me'.ilu.

Emotional plus emotional.
I'm seeing you tomorrow boyfriend.
...How i long to cuddle in your arms yet again.

Unconditional love.

2008-10-21T00:35:00.003+08:00

From the first blog post I read... it contains love and memories we both shared.from the times I struggled upon choices to be made... slowly I'm all yours.The good times we had,and then the rough patches we went through... I read it again and again.It's not like you will be gone for years,but 3 weeks is already enough for me to feel lost.

I'm waiting,counting down to the last sec.
Till the very moment they uncuff your hands..
Till then all the pains and fears shall be healed.
And finally,the days left will soon be a one-digit.finally.

i know all these struggles and pains are worthwhile...because it's you;
the boy who showered me with unconditional love...
the man who walked me back into love...
it's you,hwy,now you know why.

Sober post.

2008-10-19T15:50:00.004+08:00

Baby,I bathed for our baobei.I'm so proud of myself!But,my fingernails damn dirty.(:

I woke up with a smile yesterday,because I dreamt of you and me.So i thought to myself,'well,it's the first time since the 13th that I woke up tearless,so I should dress up today.'And yes,baby,I dressed up,wore a dress and put on my favourite eyeliner.BUT,I stopped halfway anyway...cuz it was all but a dream.Argh.It feels like years do you know?

Okay,skip that part,I seriously feel like a lunatic.
Chermont came over to my place to meet me in the evening.Wanted to head down to Ehub but I was already feeling tired and restless when I stepped out of my house,so went straight to tm instead.We were supposed to catch 'burn after reading'.Like something 'light' so we could laugh about something,though Max Payne was what we so wanted to watch.Anyway,we changed our plans cuz Nic was feeling really down,and adding to my already-there emotions,we went over to summer breeze for a drink,quan and huili joined.

That was the place we went on the first day we contacted back baby.I even remember exactly where you and I were sitting at,and everything you told me,every tactical moves you made.Haha.Songs playing there,it was insane.I was feeling like crap,it's either songs you sang to me all the time,or songs I sang to you before,or songs we both loved.Slowly,I felt dizzy but don't you worry baby,wasn't a bit drunk,just high on chang light and tequila.This wait feels like forever.When I reached home,I wrote to you in a serious dizzy state.I bathed and I puked everything out.I can't lie down straight,everything will gush to my brain,made me feel like I was dying.After much attempts like forcing myself to puke till the last drop,I slept.Baby,sorry.I shouldn't have drank.But I thought it could help forget the pain I have inside me for awhile,but come to think of it,I think it makes no difference because I cried to sleep again.

Dearling,I read your post,thank you.It's okay if you can't be here with me,it's enough to have you there listening to my neverending cries.Yes,i totally understand everything dearling.I will be strong and don't worry dearling,I won't neglect my dip cuz I promised him I'm going to pass!Thank you my best friend,you never ever fail to be there for me.And you make me miss your comfortable shoulders like alot.((: I love you!

P/S 3 troubled people in their own worlds,that's me,chermont & nicole.It's crazy because none of us are giving advices and whatever you call that.But no matter what,thank you for being there,the two of you,all these while when he isn't around.Thank you for listening me nag and whine,repeating my sorrows again and again.Quan and Huili,thank you too.(:Loves.

I miss your everything...feel so lost without you.

2008-10-16T19:52:00.004+08:00

I miss you baby..

I miss the smile that made my everyday.
I miss those grins I told you I really loved.
I miss the times you fetch me from school,
...telling me dinner is at home.
I miss your kiddy laughters..
those contagious ones that made me burst out laughing.
I miss the way you imitated a mud..
..and go on whining about how much you hate them all night long.
I miss the way you acted like an ah beng..
..walking like a big shot,giving me that smirk on your face..
but never once I gave in,I acted too,like an ah lian.
I miss you telling me how much you love me...
I miss our penguin hugs and the special ways we held hands...
I miss the way you spit on the ground right in front of where I was walking on...
...but never once did you accidentally spit on my slippers.
I miss clenching your fingers with mine...
with you telling me as long as I don't feel the hurt cuz it's not a bit painful for you.
I miss fisting you in your underarms...
with you laughing like a crazy boy and taking revenge after that.
I miss arguing with you about every little things...
like who is the good PI and who is not.
I miss your jokes that never ever fails to make me laugh like a nutcase.
I miss you straining your eyes,telling me you have show luo's eyes cuz he has eyebags like you.
I miss you smoking,with your fingers moving non-stop trying to flick the ash.
I miss you shaking your left leg vigorously,acting like john travolta in grease.
I miss you acting sexy sitting on baobei...
I miss the way you scare me with your airhorn,and there you went laughing with pride.
I miss you giving me that show-off face when you make a kick start...

I miss you smiling to me till I can't see your eyes...
I miss you sending me up to my doorstep...
I miss you telling me you violated traffic rules like going past a red light but actually it wasn't...
I miss you resting your arms on my thighs,and always saying I'm your free sofa...
I miss you asking me to go over your house to watch a movie together...
I miss you bringing me to pasir ris park to see the sunrise...
I miss every single jokes you mentioned to make me laugh like hell...
I miss you blocking my vision with your hands when we see 'peng-kias' outside...
I miss you getting jealous when I say I'm going to look for RacerL and etc...
I miss you forcing me to eat vegetables...
and then you'll act like you didn't see so I had to eat again and again...
I miss us going to loyang tpk,and you'll scare me with the dog...
But again,you'll shoo it away because you know I'm afraid...
I miss you shouting at blanglahs,asking them to look at me with your fingers pointing at me...
I miss you saying 'hello' in that particular accent...
I miss you calling me a bodoh...
I miss our GIANT trips...and everywhere we went together...

Baby,there's so many many other things I miss about you...
Things I can never finish saying...
Merely 3 months...
But the memories we had felt like years...
Merely 3 weeks...
And all these memories are already flooding inside me...
Baby that's how much I miss you...
How much I need you to be here...
I'm still waiting...
Willingly and patiently...

From your RacerJ.

Pick up for me,the broken pieces of my heart.

2008-10-16T14:00:00.002+08:00

No one will understand the pain I'm going through.

To see the signboard of where I was heading to in uncle's car...
To anxiously wait for our turn to visit you...
To see the place you're in for the next 2 weeks plus...
To go through 3 locked doors before being able to see you...

And when I thought I could hold your hand to ease our pain...
I saw that glass that separated both of us...
The way you teared telling me the magical three words...
The way I cried my eyes out saying goodbye to you...

Baby,I'm heartbroken.
And it hurts like hell when the operator said we have 2 minutes left and the speaker died off.
Are you putting up a brave front smiling to me yet again?
Then why do I sense the pain in you...
I'd been stoning the whole time everyday...
When I see you, I cry because I can't be there...how your back felt pain I hope to be your pillow all night long.
I need you,I just need you.

Every night before I sleep, I will write a letter to you. And you can't imagine how tormenting it was to hold back my tears before it stained the letter.Baby...I have all whom I need around me everyday...But no one can heal me,except you.

Remember the words written on my palm...
I'm waiting,I will persevere on,till the day you come back to me.
And what if when you're out...I have your initials on me?

It breaks my heart to see you cry...because you have always been strong in my eyes.
It hurts me to see you in tears...because it's always you who wipes away my tears.
And thank you baby,for asking me to wait for you...
Cuz from this I know,you aren't pushing me away...

Ilovewy.just him. Another 18 days...I miss your hugs boy.

Waiting for you.

2008-10-13T19:30:00.002+08:00

To even blog about you right now,my heart is aching so badly.What's worse than not having you by my side for 20days?Nothing could be worse.I'm so afraid of every night that comes along from now because I know I'll be alone at home,crying my eyes out because of you.I didn't want to tell you how vulnerable I feel,so it won't be mentioned till you're out.I want to be strong for you,even if I have to lie.Im sorry baby,but I can't bear for myself to be a burden to you when you're already feeling so emotionally worn out there.The moment court was dismissed,I know there wont be a miracle that the judge might return to his seat to change the sentence.The overflowing hurt in me was so unbearable I just couldn't refrain from bursting out into tears.When you were being handcuffed,the sound ascended into the echos of the solemn court.I was at a loss at that moment,I just know how badly I wanted to be there for you but I can't.How pathetic it is to see you being escorted into the room that I can never enter,and how hurtful it was to see that smile of yours yet in tears.Baby,you're so strong,even till the last sec we parted ways...you didn't want me to feel upset,you didn't want me to see you flooded with tears,so you swallowed them down and showed me the smile I always loved.I cried all the way,I didn't even care how people looked at me.I don't care a fcuk,because all I knew I just left someone so important to me behind.Baby you promised to hold my hand in the car back home,just like how you did when we headed there.But I took your seat in the end,and the one sitting beside me wasn't you but your sister.I don't know how to keep life going for the next 20 days,I don't know what to do,when I know I'll cry to sleep every night and wake up with tears every morning.Your dad fetched me over to chermont's place after getting my stuffs from your place.It already felt so different because I never was at your place without you around.I packed quickly and left,I just felt myself in a huge mess.That indescribable pain inside me,I was going crazy.I cried once I reached her place,before she could even lock her doorgates.I stepped on her toes and I didn't even apologies cuz I felt so tight I couldn't utter any word out of me.Baby I said I was prepared,but apparently I was living in denial all the time.Till today,I realised I wasn't ready for you leaving me alone over here,I need you,like everyday.It is my bad,for all the lies I made that I didn't even know I said.I know it's miserable inside there,how I hope I could be there calming you down,holding your hands tight to mine so you won't start gripping your own hands ever so violently you might hurt yourself.Please,for you I beg...please don't exert violence on yourself.I want to see you the way you were on 3rd November.Every second is a step closer to hugging you again.I miss you badly already,but I know you can't be here.It's okay baby,I understand.I met up with ys together with chermont and nicole.Nic bought my fave rojak and red milk tea,for me.It's been long but girl,thanks for being there once again.All appreciated.Headed over to tm with chermont,ys and auntie.She paid for the books we picked for you.Baby I picked a F1 magazine for you,ys picked a bike magazine for you,and I picked a book about rules of life for you,through agreement with our bookworm chermont.Auntie wanted to get you harry potter but we weren't sure of which book you were at.

Baby,feel lucky you have the best brothers in your life.For a small sketch book I bought to write to you,Willie came down all the way from school,Aaron came from camp,Boon's coming later.Just to write something to you.Plus,ys and chermont accompanied me to everywhere I went after I left your house just now.Bing's working,Huanghui's busy,Kheehong's in camp.But all of them cared really alot.And auntie just called to ask me over for dinner at your place,but I really didn't have the appetite but I'll visit them as soon as possible so no worries alright?

I love you baby,it's another tormenting 20days.

All the emotions.

2008-10-12T02:48:00.005+08:00

This thought never stopped running through my mind...will I smile on the 14th this month?Baby it's our 3rd monthsary.Will the outcome be good news so we could take a relieved break after struggling for 3 over months,worrying about the verdict?I hope and I pray.

Went to aunt's house in the afternoon to peep at her newborn baby Timothy.Omg.He's so cute.(though all babies look alike)I carried his tender body in my arms,with him opening his eyes slowly looking at his cousin ME!He's soooo cute okay.Will post his picture very soon,when I have the time and energy to.I feel so drained,with all the emotions inside me.

Baby was supersweet to come all the way to Clementi to fetch me,and I'm sorry to you cuz you bumped into that man in white.$40 flew because of me!): I really feel bad dear!I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!Headed over to church and den to his grandma's place for dinner.

As usual,met up with skinnyhulk.Rode over to fetch chermont at bedok,had yummylicious bbq chicken wings at 85 and then to dino for teh-ice.(with kh)Home after that.(:

And as I knelt down today...
my hands held tight...
things flooded my mind...
I just hope everything will turn out fine.

Listen to my prayers tonight...
I pray for mercy...
for the one I love...
I just hope for a chance granted.

And baby do you remember I told you on the 12th,13th and 23rd every month is a bad day for me,and that I might look gloomy or stuff like that.Not anymore.Not on my mind,not affecting already.But particularly,on the 13th this month,it's going to be a stressful day,you know i know.Let's pull through this together baby.I love you.

It's 12Oct already...
1 last day before the final outcome...
At a loss of what to do anymore...
Just want to be there,period.

______________________________

I'll be strong...just for you.

2008-10-09T02:20:00.002+08:00

And I know it's never you to be like that,to me.You always put up a brave front,giving me that manly hug,telling me everything will be fine.Finally,you poured out everything to me.And no,you're not a weakling...you're my strong boy.Thank you for finally giving me this chance to be there telling you what you used to tell me.Details I won't elaborate,this is for just you and me to know,to remember deep down in our hearts forever.

3 months,and what we'd gone through,it's just not like the usuals.The things we went through together,all the laughters and sorrows,the quarrels and makeups,all so different.But one thing I'm sure of,this will keep us strong and strengthen our bonds.3 months,a quarter of 2008,all the ups and downs,whether good or bad,I will all keep in mind,because it's about you,and me.

All the unconditonal love you'd given me,all the rides from here to there without a complaint,all my favourite treats you never ever fail to give just to cheer me up.All the long hours chatting on the phone till the sun comes out,all the 'tactics' you used just to catch my attention,all the times you said 'i only fetch joce'.lol.And I have so much more to list,3 months of memories with neverending laughters and joys.all these memories,they are something money can't pay to own.(:
To relate back to the day you got caught,the pain and everything seems so fresh,like something that happened just last morning.The tears rolling down my cheek from time to time,even when I'm outside with my friends and families.The thought of thinking how depressing it'll be for you inside that dark room,I always hope I could be there giving you the tightest hug to cover you from the cold nights.The struggle I experienced when I can't be there at your most lowdown period in life.That sour feeling which followed me 24/7,no matter how hard I tried not to think,you kept appearing on my mind.And then I started looking at every bike that passed by my sight.It's traumatizing for me to even think back.What's worse if it is going to happen another time?I don't know.I only know you are worth my waiting for.I will.And no matter how depressing it'll be,i'll be strong...just for you.Love,let's pray for the best,we must be optimistic and things WILL turn out well.And when we're sincere,there might just be a miracle.Let's pray for mercy,let's pray to god...let him know I can't afford to lose you by sight...even for a day.I love you,so let's face this together.Never...never...please...don't push me away,because that's the last thing I would like to do.

last 4 days to count...
i'm ready and prepared for everything...
we'd come so far as one,been through so much...
let me stay beside you another time,don't push me far away.

Hello doctor.

2008-10-08T00:29:00.002+08:00

ARGH crap.So I skipped school today.NO-I did not go shopping.NO-I did not party.NO-Baby's working so the more I have no reasons to skip school at all.YES,that bloody irritating gastric isn't going away.The pain is sticking with me like superglue.SHIATE.So i got to go to the polyclinic alone,without him.Rwarr.if only he was there...then I don't have to nua with my psp.(though if he's there,he's probably going to nua with my psp)Haha.But yup.Met up with him for dinner.He had his dinner at home,but really sweet to fetch me for dinner at whitesands.Flying kiss for you love.

Oh dearling,I met up with nick and told him that bike doesn't belong to you,it belongs to my boy.And yup,he only realised it.Haha.Super funny la.Heh heh.((:Anyway,I know you're surprised that I met up with him alone without chuan.No no,I have no scandals.lol.Okay.a short post today.I'm still in some kind of undefined pain.Haha.Goodnight people.This girl's gonna turn in early tonight.

time isn't waiting,it's just another 5 days...
every night before I sleep.I'll pray...for mercy.
but whether the final outcome is a good one or a bad one...
I'm willing to wait for you,I won't run,won't take a step further...from you.

Disgusting but unforgettable.

2008-10-06T23:11:00.004+08:00

I shan't say where baby and I had dinner at but yes,we vomited...together.What a shame to 'discriminate' against my favourite teh-ice.And I hope the pain we're going through now isn't the symptoms of food poisoning.What the heck.And I used to think we can only comsume 'wrong' stuff at unhygenic coffeeshops.Never expect something like this to happen at an air-conditioned food court.Got us vomiting together for a few times in a row.And roger roger baby,I just sent a complaint email to them.They better get back soon if not I'll sue them with my monopoly money.Haha.so not funny.

For the whole of today,all the things on my mind are pressing hard on me,and I almost went berserk thinking about them,esp the sad msg I received when I woke up.But oh well,I'm glad and more than relieved everything's back on track for us.And I HAVE to add on,ni shi huai ren,I'm huai nu ren.We are quits.((:

I'm sorry for all the hurt I caused in you...
I'm sorry for that foolish decision that was made in a moment of impulse...
I'm sorry for being so heartless...
I'm sorry for guarding my own bloody principles that wasn't a big deal at all...
I'm sorry for you being late for work today...
I'm sorry for giving you all those unnecessary pressure since last night...
I'm sorry for being such a weakling,giving up on something that was built up with uncountable laughters and tears...
I'm sorry for telling you it'll be better if we go back to being friends once again,thinking we can really go back to how we used to be...

But after I saw you just now...
I know we won't make this relationship work any better if I chose to let go...
I realised we're better off being together again,because only that will make me a happy folk once again...
I don't want us to be like this anymore...
I want us to be happy,happy,happy...
I will overcome any problems we are going to have in the future,together with you...
I will stop living in denial,thinking that letting go is the best solution...
I don't want the break I initiated last night...
Because I found out it's still better with you around...
Because I want to make things work between us,no matter how hard it's going to be...
Because I regretted everything I said...

Thank you baby,for the unconditonal love you still chose to give...
Thank you baby,for forgiving me this time round...
Thank you baby,for not giving up once again...
There won't be a next time.

No more tears...
Even there'll be another time,we'll wipe them away and overcome it together,right?
And I'm already not used to you calling me by my name,I'm used what we have now...you plus me.

I love you,and I won't forget you fed me the sweetest popcorns.
P/S The reason for my blogpost title,it's unforgettable because you were there patting my back...showing me you'll always and always be there when I need you.

Before I go,I want to declare that I'm happy because I can be there for you on that crucial day.
A PICTURE FOR YOU LOVE!

I dreamt you gave me flowers.

2008-10-06T14:16:00.006+08:00

One Picture That Tells All.I'm here.

And this is the picture I wanted to post so badly the other day.Finally,I can and whatever is written there,I mean the same even right now.I'll always be here.I'm not making up to you for being there for me in the past,but I want to work doubly hard because i still love you the same.I swear I want to be a happy folk,and I hope when the day comes,the one sharing my joys with me will still be you,the one making me a happy folk will still be you,the one who faithfully loves me will still be you.because racerw,you're my priority,with or without a status.

7 days to the final outcome...
No matter what I want to be there...
To whisper to you everything's going to be fine...
To go through everything with you and tell you...
Yes,I'm still your lady luck and I will always be one.
Love,please just let me be there.Don't you need me around?
_______________________________________________

Connected.

2008-10-05T05:26:00.003+08:00

GOOD NORNING PEOPLE!
I can't sleep I can't sleep
Can't sleep means can't sleep.
ARGH.

So how was Saturday?It was...fun?..or happy?All good.Meeting baby equals to good day.And why?Probably cuz it's always him who makes me smile,mostly with his crappyyethilarious jokes.(: And he RARELY make me pissed,except when he starts to get cranky and naggy.lol.

Went over to ys's place for dinner after church.Auntie cooked the seabass we caught the other day.She fried it and it was lagi delicious!Superb is the real word.Caught a movie at tm with baby,ys,mont,quan & aaron,that movie 'Connected'.Quite cool eh.Something kinda different.But I think the best part through the movies wasn't the movie,it was the moment when he fed me popcorn!Extremely,tremendously,incredibly,fcuking-ly SWEET.Haha.Am I exaggerating?Muahaha.Dino-ed with all except aaron.Had a good laugh at how ys teased chermont about sharkfin.Ridiculously hilarious.Haha.He said chermont should open a 'sharkfin funfair' where the boomerangs are made of sharkfins and blahblahblah.Shall not elaborate because you guys won't feel it's funny anyway.Baby joined in and yes,he blabbered alot too.Bueytahan.

SO yes yes yes,saturday wasn't boring.BUT why can't I sleep?Okay.random.=X

Another 8 days to the outcome.
Goodness I hope I can stop counting down.
But unfortunately I can't because it matters too much.
Whatever it'll be,hold my hand,take me with you,let me support you through.

Hellboy is a fisherman-to-be.

2008-10-03T00:18:00.011+08:00

So I went fishing with baby,skinny hulk and babe on wed and thurs.It was fun though.I think it's my very first experience to slack around awaiting for a dumb fish to eat the bait for so many hours!Lol.But well,i always thought it's boring.Now I know it depends on who you are with.It was fun to go fishing with them,though.(:

Wednesday night was a failure.We went to bedok jetty and went home with no fish.I mean at least if we did catch seaweeds or shoes or whatever,it's better than nothing at all right?So yes.Empty-handed on the first night.Last night,we had good returns.Went to tanahmerah ferry terminal.I don't know if anyone knows about that place cuz it was clear when we were there.A super good spot with stone chairs and the wind blew like free.Very nice.A very appropriate place to get emo.And you can see planes just above you,lagi best.And yes,they caught a seabass.A big one.Check out for pictures below.We were ecstatic,but only for like 10mins den all acted like nothing happen,continued with our own stuffs.Haha.Temporary enthusiasm.Baby absurdly claimed he's a fisherman-to-be but I so don't want him to stink of fishy smell in the future(because I won't be able to differentiate between 'fishy smell' and 'smell something fishy' from him) so dear,DROP THAT WEIRD-tothemax THOUGHT!I rather you set up the sunflower weed plantation with chermont.Haha.Well,skinny hulk caught another one,but to much disappointment it's a catfish.Freed it.Baby and I had a part-time job today,that's to pack food back from changi.And I was so careless,cuz I lost the lightsticks on the way back.Still had to trouble baby to ride back to search for it but to no avail.Like a needle in the haystack.Damn my carelessness.Sorry to you love,it's my fault.

Okay.So we were happy folks,heading home with the seabass,though it has started to stink a little.Woohoo.

Oh anyway,I seemed to be banned to tag on my fcuking own blog.no idea why.
So here's the replies to the tags.

Joce-wy: i figured out how i'm going to punish you.love me like now for a long long time.(: omg.am i starting to get cheesy?
Joce-justina: why so dead?i have no idea.am not a popular chick my dear sister.lol.

Posting the big seabass picture.Shout OMG!The 2 enthusiastic 'fishermen'.

OH!The catfish that skinny hulk caught.

One Random Picture.

A lagi-dusty signboard,that got our hands all blue.
But no frets right my racerw?

i love you baby.you know there's always something you do everyday that make my day like I make yours?it's your smile too.i would like you to always smile because i don't like it when you look glum.would like you to smile all the time like you used to when i'm around,in the past.i don't want anything or anyone to snatch your smile away.know how important and how much it matters to me now?just a smile,it can make my day,nothing but the truth.

P/S I'm too lazy to upload more random pictures because blogger can only upload one at a time,TODAY!not any day but TODAY when I so wanted to blog!And so I'm even lazier to blog about today.Will post up soon.

10 more days to the final outcome.
I'm afraid because that sour feeling is back.
I'm beginning to feel the pain and stress again.
I've been through once.but for you,I'll endure through another time.

_____________________________________________________

((:

2008-09-29T23:22:00.002+08:00

I love my boyfriend.

Beautiful Memories.

2008-09-29T05:01:00.002+08:00

Listening to that song over and over again.The lyrics repeating in my ears.I suddenly felt 'wow...everything's so different now'.The things I used to do I don't do anymore,the feeling aren't the same like how it used to be.Some are good changes,but some...they just prick my heart.Oh my god...that's me now.Like a lunatic blogging at this hour.I don't know,but I just don't need sleep.And who knows what time I'll just lay and knock out just like that?I haven't had a proper meal for 2 days already.I'm not desperate to go on a diet neither do I have the intention to do so but I just can't eat.Drinking's still alright but it's even lesser than it already is.Am I having depression?Oh gosh.I always thought I'll be the last to get depression because I'm those cheerful-crazy-hyperactive-straightforward sort of person,but now I feel I'm everything but them.

Whatever people.I'm just going to close my fcuking eyes and tell myself nothing's going to pull me down,at all.And that includes those issues that are of high leveled importance in my life.

Someone once told me; Memories will always be memories.In certain situations you can only miss it,you can never get it back.Look forward,await for more happy things to put into your archive of memories.

I rate it: 10stars -cause somehow I feel it does make sense.(:

SAY WHOOSH!

2008-09-28T23:43:00.003+08:00

...to tell me you are surprised I blogged!

No time.
No energy.
No.
No.
No.

And most importantly,nothing to blog about.

Say hello to crankiness.
Say hello to boredom.
Say hello to all my undefined emotions.

So how's life for me in school?Plain SHIATE.If only i did not have to retake everything over again.Like for one whole year okay,how much more irritating can it be.The trips to school are unbearable,the early morning rantings from mummy are unbearable,the hot sun and heavy rains are unbearable.

Bearable part about school: The usual cliques.At least they made my day in school,laugh at my jokes(sometimes) and most importantly,4 out of 6 of us fag!So yes,that goes to show I'm out of class for hours slacking at prata shop and when we're done,class is almost over.

Every day starting from today is going to be crazy,that's how I analyse and have no reasons to support what I have mentioned.*ahhh cranky*

Dearling,I still can't adapt to not seeing you.Though I have things to do,have school,have a boyfriend,have my friends,but I miss you like crazy.And I'm serious.Like when can you give me a hug and tell me not to fret because I have you?Like when will we cry over our problems together?Like when will you use a piece of tissue to make a rose for me when I'm down?Screw it.You better come back soon.And and and,when can we chat and gossip at east coast again?When can we sing our favourite songs together again?When can we shout and laugh like no one's business again?When can we bicker again?Okay,that's out of point.Lol.

When?1-2 years later.You know it's very long!Sickeningly long.Whatever,you just take good care and appear at my doorstep soon.Stupid hx,snatch her away,far far away from me!Hahaha.it's a joke okay.Knowing how well you and his marriage is,I'm glad!(: And shoo your bffs' away for good!They can't make you laugh and tear like I can!RIGHT?yes,right.(:

It's a happening year for me.Screw 2008.Good things,bad things.Like maciam I'd been through so much.Kinship,friendship,relationship.All 'smelly smelly' also got something to think about.Whatever,hopefully god would make it good and well for me for the rest of the year.

I know the scars on your hand is never going to fade off...
but I hope the scars in you are slowly healing...
I heard about your call...
Heard about how you're doing...

I love you boyfriend,never want to compare anything about you with him.My expectations are high,so high I think it's not making us work out at all.I need time,but can you give that time to me?There are many times I just wanted to give up on us,many times I felt it's better off being friends after all.At least we won't have so much to fret about,cuz it's slowly turning it to be a burden to you.I would like things to turn out well,hopefully.The smile I have across my face everyday don't seem to appear as much as it used to be.I don't know whether you'll get to read this in the end,I don't know whether I should express myself like that or not.So if it's meant to be,you'll highlight these part of the screen cuz the text is in black.BUT,if you do see,I don't want us to quarrel or debate because from now on,I rather things between us work out on its own,cuz on my part,trying too hard is making it seem like I'm being oversensitive and paranoid.So boyfriend,let's hope the bond we have created over these few months will overcome this unseen barrier.I love you.Really love you.Bcuz every little things you do for me,till today,is much appreciated.

Skyping skyping.Gunbound Gunbound.Nights people!

Empty.

2008-09-22T01:17:00.003+08:00

So I'd been missing in action for some time,yet again.My 1week school holiday is coming to an end.In fact,it has ended but it's just because I don't have school on mon.This 1 week was like very normal,like any day.Cancelled a few plans with those beloved friends of mine.

AND so I'm sorry Angie and Dondon for not turning up at the birthday party;
big sorry to josh for not turning up at his tekong last party.
sorry for not being there to be the entertainer.muahaha.you all had better agree to the fact it'll be more lively with me around.okay.thick-skinned.but it's not a joke this time round.lol.I will meet up with you for dinner this coming week to make it up.(:

Oh.K-ed with babe and quan that day.it was fun la,though somehow it's a rare combination of kakis.haha.and there's another day I watched 'mirrors' with him,kh,kathy,ys,aaron and my lovely babe.it was SCARY okay.And he felt he was dancing,all those lockin' poppin'-the result of getting shocks by me throughout the whole show.hilarious.i got shocked even by a dog in the show,got shocked by a thump on the door while walking down the staircase after the show.so yah,in short,i'm timid.darn those horror flicks.

There's also grandma's chalet just last two days at aloha.Had a great time,and even a better time because he and his 'gang of bros' plus babe joined me there.First night was daidee with cousins.Super fun.Talked to them about life,whoosh...I feel like an underaged auntie.Haha.But HELLO,better keep everything I said in mind.I don't harm my loved ones.(:

Oh yeah.family spread news like free.everyone knows i have a boyfriend now.darn those rumours.it's irritating,it made me busy-busy hiding from them before they bomb me with all sorts of questions like 'how old is he?' 'what is he doing now?' 'how many are there in his family?' etc etc etc.Irritated.My cousin knows it best.

I know my post is super random,but still,I'm not going to stop.
Went for manutd chelsea match with babe and joel today.Park scored!wooza.

Okay done.going to viwawa now.Goodnight!

LOVE,it's you and me.

2008-09-11T22:23:00.004+08:00

Tada~
Am in a better mood already.
Actually,things were better for me since yesterday.But somehow blogger has a sickening problem,I can't upload pictures so I might as well not blog.But well,finally up.It's all of random pictures taken on different days,no links at all,just pictures that I always wanted to post but yet to do so.Okay.I'm naggy.

The stuntwoman.

My boy and I,taken like so long ago.
And he loves to 'step kiaotor'.so,I entertained.lol.
Breakfast made by him early in the morning.<3 href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_WoOQWrp-zFA/SMks9boCVbI/AAAAAAAAAGs/UcKLXNzdAs0/s1600-h/DSC04602.jpg">

For my RacerW:

Your holidays are here & best/worst of all you are starting work.I wonder if you know why I'm feeling kind of down.But well,for that,I shall punish you by pocketing 80% of your pay.Haha.But well,you have to work,if not we really need to replace that something with grass at ikea.Had a great and happy day with you today,though problems are not totally solved,I appreciate that you aren't giving up a single bit.I know I'm naggy and a total complain queen(like you),but there's some things you need to take note of before you start work.

Here's an IOU for you,tag my blog as a signature to agree to the terms given by me...

#1 Since I have an identity 'JOCE'S SEAT' on baobei6901,you are not authorised anymore to pick up any caicai,whether to my definition they are cute or not,young or old.

#2 You don't have to report to me every minute about your whereabouts,but still,actions speak louder than words,so do what you promised and that's to text me once in a while.okay,contradiction.

#3 You hadn't been eating proper meals when you had that job in the past,and I also didn't have the right to demand.But now,you better have your proper meals before your gastric haunts you.

#4 Tea is super nice I know,because I'm a teh-ice sucker.BUT,you better not let me smell tea breath all the time because again,gastric might be back.

#5 Don't smoke too much please.

#6 Ride with ultra care,don't potong jalan when you are thinking of things like for instance,me.Don't race with stupid cab drivers and look out for those in white.And yes,put coupons when you need to park your bike,yellow lines are definitely a no-no.And no matter how much of a rush you are in,no speeding.

#7 Have dinner with me on any day you are free because I'm having my holidays.I will be going out once in a while but I am always waiting for your call to ask me out.

#8 Sleep early at night,no 2 hours DOTA,or neverending combat arms because only I am allowed to look at your 'morning red eyes'.

#9 Take good care of yourself at work.Though I hate my boy without scars,but don't injure yourself and your back like you did in the past.

#10 Miss me,if I don't sneeze,you watch out.

And this song's for you,from me.
Look at the lyrics,recap back to 140708..'but an unexpected way,on an unexpected day'.

It is You (I Have Loved)

There is something that I see
In the way you look at me
There's a smile, there's a truth in your eyes

But an unexpected way
On this unexpected day
Could it be this is where I belong?
It is you I have loved all along.

Chorus-

It's no more mystery
It is finally clear to me
You're the home my heart has felt for so long
It is you I have loved all along

There were times I ran to hide
Afraid to show the other side
Alone in the night without you

But now I know just who you are
And I know you hold my heart
Finally, this is where I belong
It is you I have loved all along

Chorus

Over and over
I'm filled with emotion
Your love, it rushes through my veins

And I am filled
With the sweetest devotion
As I look into your perfect face

Chorus

It is you I have loved
It is you I have loved all along

P/S I love you.

Assessments.

2008-09-09T19:25:00.002+08:00

So recently,I've been feeling rather down but yup,that's all.Emotions all flooded inside me,I'm suffocating somehow,and as usual I rarely confide.It's mentally-tiring,irritating,sickening,just everything but good.

And worst of all,it's my assessments.Fcuk.I just feel so sick of everything.Life's boring boring boring.Argh.

Got very high on tequila and vodka at nick's party the other night,with babe.Maybe I didn't want to drink so much.But ya,got myself in a mess,quarrelled with boyfriend,puked,and got caught for lying to babe's mummy.You guys see it?I just get the worst of everything,it isn't a choice at all.Sometimes I just want to fcuk the world upside down,give up on everything I possess,just to start a new chapter of life.That selfishness in me is back,somehow.I am so not going to care anymore.Maybe to think for myself is a much better solution.Hah.

I know they have the best interests,of course I know that.But everything are falling out of place,everything's bad for me,so when another adds to my pile of shit,I seriously feel like I'm falling apart.Because one comes after another,one leads to another.Argh.I'm just emotionally worn-out.WORN-OUT,already.If I knew this was coming,I won't change myself in the first place then maybe when all these happened,I'm just going to put it behind me without hesitation.Everybody isn't me,I am myself,so no one's going to know how I really feel at this moment.So don't even think I'm over-reacting over trivial matters,because that isn't the point.I know some of you might be worried about me,but please if you people chanced upon my blog,don't even ask or console me,cuz that's the last thing I need.

Whatever.Just need some time of my own,complete my fcuking assignments and fcuk off to somewhere I really belong.I guess this is the most boring post I ever posted.But guess what,I don't need anyone to read it anyway.I'm off to do my adesign.It's better than making myself feel worse,better than having that heart-aching feeling inside me.Anyway,I have no idea why my heart is aching.

Might not be blogging for some time.Will give myself some time to be left alone.Know isolation better.And yes,the conclusion for everything,life disgusts me.that's it.

Restless.

2008-09-04T22:40:00.002+08:00

I am feeling tired.

If you don't know,saying goodbye like that left me with a very sour feeling for the past ten mins.If you don't know,i'm not going to call and say goodnight because besides that,I don't know what else to say anymore.Yes,I might be paranoid and often sensitive towards the things you said,but all I did was just because you matter.I even thought you lied that your parents were at home because you felt tired to come down to look for me.And yes,I'm sorry about it.But,well,even after I sent that msg to you,you don't seem to realise it's not the first time I'm feeling this way.

Whatever.I'm turning in.
Goodnight.

Remorseful.

2008-08-27T01:05:00.009+08:00

If only there's a way for you to move on without tears...
If only we didn't go so far...
If only i didn't make empty promises to you...
That is if only,because what's done cannot be undone.
I just hope you will find your right one someday.

P/S. and other than sorry,there's no other words to describe my feelings now.

With you,monday blues no more.

2008-08-25T23:45:00.004+08:00

Everything was mundane,it wasn't exciting,wasn't different from other days,but I just felt really happy today.I can't make my smile go away,that's it.And if every day's like today.(: You are right,though random,that every day is a happy day because we don't starve and have a shelter above at night when we need a rest after a hectic day.But well,true enough,every day's a happy one with you around.

Dino-ed with dear and quan.Over to army store and back to kh's place.Had a drink with quan,kh,kathy,ys and him at their area.Back to his place,and auntie's yam-mushroom rice is super nice.But it's the time of the mth,so didn't have much appetite.Went back home right after dinner cuz I have a heavy workload,tons of projects to rush.And he has his own share of stress too,to kill pengkias in his combat arms.Haha.I'm still aching over my scratched visor.Rwarr to you!=X

Dearling,though I can always copy and paste what I'm writing,I mean it, that much.
I gonna miss you,miss you,I miss you.I gonna miss you,miss you,I miss you.I gonna miss you,miss you,I miss you.I gonna miss you,miss you,I miss you.I gonna miss you,miss you,I miss you.I gonna miss you,miss you,I miss you.I gonna miss you,miss you,I miss you.I gonna miss you,miss you,I miss you.I gonna miss you,miss you,I miss you.I gonna miss you,miss you,I miss you.I gonna miss you,miss you,I miss you.I gonna miss you,miss you,I miss you.

Miss you in many uncountable aspects.Because you're my best friend.I asked him how he would feel if one day his sworn brother leaves him for a few years,he answered me:'Cannot la!How can?'.Yes,exactly what I'm talking about.But well,family is the first priority.All the best dearling.I'm so angry because I predicted my bday to be a tearful and weary one,because you're leaving.No matter what,there won't be another dearling.'I heartx euu'.eee.so ginna.lol.

P/s Chiong-ing colour visuals tonight,tonight will be the night I'm going to feel very vex after such a long time not burning the midnight oil for work.Oh poor me,are you going to pat me tmr telling me there's you giving me the motivation?((:

GOODNIGHT PEOPLE.I LOVE DESIGN,BUT I DETEST PROJECTS.
this year's bday,I just don't feel the enthusiasm...that 'kick' just never arise.

Screw The Rain.

2008-08-24T17:48:00.005+08:00

Today's a bad day.The only good thing about today,it's seeing him.
Other than that,it's bad BAD BADD cuz it's raining,the nasi lemak damn expensive and spicy,and the worst thing,dear scratched my new visor.lagi careless right. )))): but well,he already said before he's that careless.argh!*shouts OH MY GOD!*
anyway,service was alright,sang songs.but there's this weird guy whom dear wanted to knock his head.2 weirdos.lol.(edited:RacerW didn't even realise 1 of the weirdos I mentioned is him.how blur can one get?!)

Now we are stuck at willie's place.
So is it a bad day or what?!
Going home for dinner tonight,mummy better be cooking my fave dishes,if not I'll mess up her kitchen.Muahaha.

p/s rain rain go away come again another day,little wy wants to ride.

Dear Diary.

2008-08-24T01:40:00.003+08:00

OH.
It was a night out with my girls on thurs.
Had dinner at The NoodleShop with dearling,and yes,had laughs as usual.
She also has BANGS now,like again!((:
Met up with tercomont too.=p

It's Kbox ladies' night and 3 of us cooped up in the small room for 3hours.It was fun,funny,hilarious but at the same time,heart-wrenching.This is probably the last time I'm going to sing with dearling cuz she's leaving singapore very soon.It's esp saddening when we sang our song,yi ran shi peng you.And I felt silly cuz I actually video-ed it down,haha.But what to do dearling,I can reminisce when I miss you.Thank you,cuz you made it perfect.(: And,that video clip includes your laughter,contagious laughter that will never fail to make me laugh along.

Chilled at Makansutra Gluttons' Bay,beside DXO.And tell you guys,condemn their teh-ice and milo la!They put sugar maciam it's free la.Too sweet for normal tastebuds.-_-' Babe,thank you for that hug with that magical three words,it's fcuking sweet la!(: We did not have 'CHIO' pictures taken!So i won't post it up!If not dearling and mont will start their rantings!

.
.
.

Lunch-ed with dear,kh,kathy,ys and his gf after school on friday.School's fcuking boring but well,I have no choice but to endure.Drew an abstract illustration for him and he decoded it in less than 10 seconds,lagi irritating.Haha.Oh yeah.Big2 is in trend again,after so long.Thanks to enthu kakis like kh and kathy.Had dinner at his place den met up with willie and ys at dino.Baby,visor eff-ing CHIO la.(:

.
.
.

Rainy Saturday,RWARR!In the end,we chilled all the way at kh's house,didn't attend service.self-postponed to tmr afternoon.Haha.Thank you for fetching me home under the drizzle RacerW,and I'll remember what you said to me at the traffic junction.(:
P/S I will cut down,it's a promise.Oh yeah,tagboard's back.

Black & Love.

2008-08-22T03:02:00.001+08:00

You know something?
3 black bands equal to love.

Why black?
Because we love black.

You know something?
I miss you,teeny weeny bit.

P/S Thank you for getting me a new chrome visor my RacerW,cuz you know too well I love staring at people,not that I'm an emo-punk who hates to face the world!Next is your RayBan Chrome Sunglasses.GOOD NIGHT love!

22.Aug.08 // 3.32am // sleeping time.

Hiperactivo is back yo!

2008-07-24T00:43:00.000+08:00

With a random post.

Recaps:
Some old school moments with my best friend.

YES!Lighting a cigg with matchsticks when a lighter is right in front of her.And she likes it.She finds it cool but I find it embarrassing big time!

So I ended up playing matches with her.Whoever finish lighting up a pack wins.And it's quite obvious I won la.Haha.That girl's not very good at it.

I might not be a pink person,but I'm definitely a strawberry-cream lover.Like strawberrycreamlolli!and did I mention dearling had a sudden liking for lollipops recently.I'm only going to her one 50cents lolli as a farewell gift.Anyway,back to that,thank you racer w...for your neverending lil' treats.

That's why I'm nice enough to spend time editing baobei for you.Super chio bodoh!Look at your headlights and rims!(: And Quan,give me a few more days to edit yours.I know you're waiting very patiently.

And me!purple headlights!(:

Surprise!Another cam-whore moment.

Saw those curls?Nice bodoh!But my hair not long enough,so it isn't too obvious.So awaiting for m hair to grow long den I can make full use of this curler.Haha.So not me eh,but I kinda like it though.The lil' more mature hiperactivo.((:

My new red top.So like red riding hood.lol.

This is what we saw at tamp GIANT's carpark.Can't resist laughing at it.And the next time I went there few days later,it was still parked there.Haha.

Introducing youngsters nowadays...
For instance,the biker named racer w.
Muahaha.

GOODNIGHT PEOPLE.
will update as soon as I can.Been busy recently.
and oh yah.I have a huge blog fan who says I look like a hippo.And that dog has no idea how hard I'm laughing at how dumb and childish IT is.and wonder why dogs like him loves hiding behind that computer screen spamming my blog,'complimenting'on how fucking cute I am.Haha.I love you dog,cuz 'complimenting' me is no different from licking my shoes,and oh well,I guess I won't want that too cuz guess what...I don't yearn to smell something bad coming from my feet when I go out shopping.Bye passerby,I'm changing my url soon,spam the rest.Cuz I have no fucking time to entertain you.GOODNIGHT FAN,and if your motive is to hit my angry nerve,try harder cuz you aren't successful this time round.

Relieved.

2008-07-15T07:26:00.000+08:00

That long long wait is over.Finally you and my 'baobei' are back! (: But boy,you lost weight.The relief in me when I hopped off the cab was indescribable.Maybe it's something I've been awaiting for.Did you see that look on quan's face when he saw you?Plain relieved.But that guy's not gonna cry for you dude.Haha.Yes.Roger to you reporting back.Now that everything's alright,have a good start.And remember everything I told you last night,esp the part regarding cherishing them.No more late nights for all of us.Quan's not going to get home late,I'm not going to get ranted,and you...it's ur turn!But for our yanping,haha...she's going to f*us upside down cuz we won't be going down '10th floor' for a very long time.but but...i'm sure she will understand.and thank you,for understanding and...i'm sorry.

And yes,with the new policy in NAFA,the thought of going back school isn't that scary and frustrating anymore.That's super good news,for me.And thank you loves,for being happy for me.Dearling esp,thanks for all the encouragements and debates along the way.And of course,daddy mummy!...for not giving up hope on me.Maybe Imma born-designer! *hah,crap la!*

Oh yeah.let the pictures do the talking.My sexyboney Joshua's 21st birthday.And oooh.I'm delighted cuz you people said I slimmed down.Yessa!

.
.
.

The Happy 21 yr old BOY!

The Crew,not completed.

And finally,this is my 2 favourite pictures taken that 'drunk' night.
.
.
.
one,I look silly and two,i look childish.(:

It's always nicer to have pictures in a post isn't it?Laugh all you want people,you seldom have the opportunity to see me SO RED AND SO DRUNK~!And thank you to you,for being there to take care of me the whole night.You never fail to be there all the time,and this is the thing you never fail to make me touched since the day I knew you.Thank you for ur love.And oh yeah.coming up next will be pictures of my gorgeous best friend in that fine wedding gown.Dearling,you really looked very very beautiful yesterday.(: and no matter what,i'm here!if your hubby ever bully you,machogirlfriend will give him a taste of her drunken fist.But spare me some chivas first.$138.Haha.Joke.

If only I know what I really want,if only...
I will never forget everything you've given me...
And the neverending care and concern you never failed to show...
The love and everything you've put in us...
But take good care for now.I have no answer to everything...
Maybe you'll be gone if I'm back one day...
If that day comes,I will have to accept it the way it is...
It hurts,deeply,to see you like that...
I didn't know things will turn out like that...
I am sorry.

14th July 2008.

2008-07-14T05:30:00.000+08:00

Today's the BIG DAY for dearling.Really happy and can't wait to see her later.

But at the same time,I'm feeling afraid.Because today will be the day the result is out.Your mummy called me yesterday.She talked to me about many things.Will fill you in when you're back alright?Will the outcome be alright?Are you really okay like you told uncle to tell me?I'm waiting for your call.And you know,I hope it's good news.Finally a week has passed by,it seemed so long.Finally.

Oh yeah.I was totally wasted on Joshua's birthday party.Omg.I got dead drunk and Ivan got to carry me back home.I was near to unconscious,and the feeling's super scary.It was my first time getting so drunk,never been this way before.And for the first time,my face got so red!I will put up pictures in my next post.Have a good laugh man!LOL.But hopefully Josh did enjoy his day.(:

It's 5.41am.I need to sleep.It's going to be a long day today,till you call.
I pray.

Thank You.

2008-07-12T04:33:00.000+08:00

For asking your dad to do this favour for you.
For asking him to tell me you're doing fine.I hope you really are.(:
I still did not believe it was your dad who called,I even asked him if he's sure he's your dad.LOL.am I always like so 'sotong'?And you know what,xinyi jie's really very nice.nicer than you.JOKE.

Of course I hope you were the one who called.Have so much to tell you but I understand it isn't possible.Quan fetched me to Loyang Tua Bei Kong to pray,specially for you.Andy's out with his sp,but it feels so different.I told him,and he said:'You always ride on sp,still find it weird?..you bluffing who?'Haha.told you 6901's my 'baobei',cuz he listens to me bodoh.Everything's going to be fine boy.I know you're going to call me very soon.And I'm waiting.Another 2 days from now.It has been almost a week.We feel very weird.Still talking about you today.Have something very funny to tell you,so remember to ask me because I have short-term memory.

All the important events coming up.Josh's 21st birthday tmr.Heading to Opoint with the nafa cliques.Honey bunny and everyone else,you guys are so missed.

And on the 14th July,it's dearling's big day.How time flies.But I'm really excited and happy for you.So awaiting for that day to see you in that pretty white gown.I feel so happy for you.And best friend,though we had a tiff recently,it didn't change anything between us,and I don't want anything between us to change,even if you have to leave me here,to seek for your future and lifetime happiness with your guailan hubby.You should know why I say that of him,if you don't,ask me.Hehe.You know girl,it's too inconvenient to say it here.Muahaha-that's an evil laugh.And everything you told me,I'm really touched and more than glad to have known you years back.Everything you put into our friendship,I can feel.Though we have met with problems along the way,you are a best friend I'll remember for my whole lifetime,and of course with no regrets.I might not show,or didn't put in too much efforts to express,but to me you're always one of the most important people in my life.Top 3,definitely.I hope whatever that lies in front of you is the life you've always been searching for.And promise me bestfriend,have the most blissful marriage.Webcam me one day,tell me you feel like the happiest woman in the whole wide world.And when you smile,I will smile,for a best friend who had found her goal in life.I love you michelle,I really do.But I don't want us to get married.Lol.See you on monday bride-to-be,you have good news,I have good news too,and I'm sure you'll be very happy for me.(:

And a nice wedding song.

Oh yeah.Pizza-ed with Ivan yesterday.Took a few pictures under a void deck.

why did you choose to come back so late?you know,i've hurted you,yet again.

Sour.

2008-07-10T14:02:00.001+08:00

Random-very sour.
It's 10 July today.The last time I heard ur laughter was on 6 July.Been so many days.At least longer than usual.You are so missed and that sour feeling I have just doesn't go away.Every bike that passes by my sight,I will think of you.And the sound you always make when 6901's 'angry'.All so missed.My afternoon calls.Those msgs to tell me you are safely home.All the suppers together.The happy moments at dino.at geylang.at feifei.And the scary times you were there for me.Will you still be there?You know,thinking of it makes me insane.When are you coming back?...so I won't have so much to fret about.Anyway,I've been home these days,no late nights anymore.

Going for dinner with him later.
---------------------------------
it's 2.10pm now.i woke up at 7am today.

Whore.

2008-07-09T19:52:00.000+08:00

In a gd way.A Camwhore.
Out of all the effects available,this is my fave.
And out of so many things to do at home,I decided to mindmap on diff facial expressions.
LOL to my boliao-ness when nua-ing at home.

He just called,and I'm meeting up with him downstairs.
Just what is going to happen in the near future?No idea.

Oh yeah.3 riddles to share with you people...
...my 10year-old sister tested me.

1) What's a deer with no eye?
*drum rolls*.....(highlight text beside 'Ans:')

Ans: 'No Eye-deer(No Idea)'

2) What's a deer still with no eye?
*drum rolls again*

Ans: 'Still No Idea'

3) Farmer A sells cows. Farmer B sells pigs. What does Farmer C sell?
*drum rolls yet again*

Ans: 'Medicine.Farmer C = Pharmacy'

Are kids nowadays witty and clever or am I slow and stupid already?
I used to have super high EQ and IQ loh.Oh,I'm blushing.

My Favourite Song.

2008-07-09T17:32:00.000+08:00

X-factor:Candylike & Meaningful
Secondhand Serenade-Fall For You.

Posted this song before.But apparently it can't be played anymore.
And Rcear W,tag soon to tell me you were the one who made me so in love with this song.
You are missed,by all of us.

Oh yes,and the lyrics.
The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting

Could it be that we have been this way before

I know you don't think that I am trying

I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you

Over again

Don't make me change my mind

Or I wont live to see another day

I swear it's true

Because a girl like you is impossible to find

You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended

I always swore to you i'd never fall apart

You always thought that I was stronger

I may have failed

But I have loved you from the start

Ohhhh

But hold your breath

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you

Over again

Don't make me change my mind

Or I wont live to see another day

I swear it's true

Because a girl like you is impossible to find

It's impossible...

So breathe in so deep

Breathe me in

I'm yours to keep

And hold onto your words

Cuz talk is cheap

And remember me tonight

When you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you

Over again

Don't make me change my mind

Or I wont live to see another day

I swear it's true

Because a girl like you is impossible to find

Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you

Over again

Don't make me change my mind

Or I wont live to see another day

I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find
-------------
DONE!

Happy 23rd!

2008-07-09T03:28:00.000+08:00

Out for dinner with daddy mummy today.Had pizza.We invited Chermont to join us cuz mummy misses her.Lol.Not that totally,it's just that daddy mummy want to peep at how gorgeous she is now.But the service was really bad at tm.I almost flared up.So wanted to tell that dumb manager, 'Waive off my 10% service charge because your service suck big time!' But I didn't.Waited so long for everything.But yup,fair enough,we did have a yummy meal.(:

OH YEAH!After 12am today,which is on the 9th July,it's Ivan's 23rd Birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
though mummy was the first to wish you.

It's the 3rd day I'm not hearing your voice.Of course I still remember how you sound like.But,don't take too long please.Everyday I have this intense sour feeling in my heart when I think about you.It's hard to even accept you aren't around,persevere on boy,because all of us out here are waiting and trying our very best to keep cool.(:
P/S if you don't know,I am still waiting for 6901 to stand up cuz he fell.Can you do it?Cuz somehow I know you can.

GOOD NIGHT PEOPLE.and let's pray again tonight.

One Tormenting Week.

2008-07-08T11:29:00.000+08:00

School's commencing on 21st July.and I always hope for time to stop cuz I'm so fucking reluctant to go back to school.But now,I hope everyday passes quickly.I want to know the result.Why does it seem like every day is moving slowly...Will 'tonight be the night' you can give me a call and tell me how you are.Well,I know the answer.

Can you sense us worrying for you?
Can you sense me crying?
Can you sense us missing you?
Can you sense me telling you to be strong?

Do you know how much I want to be there?
Do you know how much we miss your jokes?

I cried when **** updated me on your news.I felt so lost,felt so weird.I even lost my appetite.I cried when your sister asked me if I was the person talking to you before that thing happened.I told her 'yes,and we're supposed to catch another clip of ms swan together.He told me he will call me back,but after that he never did'.On the phone,you were still laughing like crazy and it never fails to be contagious.And we haven't catch Get Smart together.Hais.

Quan and I were talking at 218 yesterday night.We talked so much about you, laughed at the way you play with your cigarette box all the time, laughed at how you always react when you look at girls, the way you 'rwarr' and show your tongue.He told me about how he met you and of course I told him the neverending things you did for me.He didn't cry but I guess he was holding back his tears.I was really strong too,cried but didn't sob.So don't worry about us cuz we'll be strong,because we want to be at your back supporting u.Now we are waiting for the outcome,and I pray for it to be good.Take care of yourself for now,and we'll take care too.((:

I saw a msg I shouldn't see.Now I'm in a dilemma.Why did that msg come at this wrong point of time?I'm in no position to give an answer.Hais.

P/S RCEAR J orders RCEAR W to keep his cool and stay strong.

Early Bird.

2008-07-07T12:40:00.001+08:00

And I can't sleep much,don't know why.Maybe I'm too worried that's why.
Just imagine I woke up at 9am.So 'WOW'.I think I haven't woke up so early for months already.

Every time my phone rings,I hope so much for it to be you,to tell me everything's alright.I want to listen to you confide,and hopefully you won't avoid.Get yourself strong mentally and physically.Emotionally-wise,we'll try our best to heal you,we'll try our best to go through it with you.It feels a little weird not hearing from you,not receiving any msgs from you in the evening telling me where you are,and even weirder not to hear my phone ring in the night to tell me you are done with work.And you haven't show me how 'smart' you are in your uniform.Really hope for the best this time round.And when one is sincere,there might just be a miracle...

P/S MGTS's 6901,have you collapse already?Stand up please,you must keep your words.I hate people who lies rmb?

Going out with dad and mum today.Argh.Ran out of house yesterday,now I end up not being able to meet up with dearling.We'll meet up soon alright?Truckloads of misses and love.

Marshmallowdips.

2008-07-07T02:36:00.000+08:00

The moment when I gave your sister a call,tears welled up my eyes.
I aren't your next of kin,and I still needed your sister to calm me down.
She didn't tell us exactly your whereabouts. We could guess what has happened to you already,and that's so not fair. I so want to be there,just like how you're always here for me.
At the point when I was frantically looking for you,I called **** and ****. They were so lost too,and **** tried contacting your friends to look for you. I don't know if I did make a mess for you this time round,but I'm sorry cuz I was too anxious. Thanks to **** I had news of you,at least I know you are there,at least safe and sound. You made me so worried the whole day bodoh!

Tomorrow your sister will call me to notify me about you.and tonight I'll pray for you,for everything to be fine.I know you're probably feeling depressed and lost now.Please don't be,cuz you have us over here to go through everything with you.You must be strong,cuz no matter how hard it is,it'll be over someday.No matter how hard it takes,bear with it.Endure and persevere on.I'd finished up the mallowdips you bought to substitute a fondue.It's nice but I think if it's chocolate,it'll be better.So will you be alright?Will you be fine, so as to ride me to get one chocolate flavoured one?(=

Yummytreat!

Taken on 05/07 night.

My cute 15yrold cousin.

Racer.J and Racer.W.LOL.

Guantehdear & Guanyindear.

Ttthat's it!!Inspired from the kungfu girl in 'CHOCOLATE'.

And so Kung Fu Girl says: GOOD NIGHT! and not forgetting to say I'm praying for you tonight.Take care of urself for now.

Untitled.

2008-07-06T21:37:00.001+08:00

Finally my fever bid goodbye and my sore throat's so much better now.Almost die-ded from that excruciating pain when I swallow ANYTHING.): I bravely swallowed tablets,am so proud of myself anyway.Hah.And,yuan brewed honey lemon juice for me and ping.really sweet of him.

Where are you?
Aren't you supposed to call back?
I've been waiting since 10am.
Do you have any idea how worried and scared I am?
Don't you switch off your com when you're not home?
Why are you online since 10am?
Did you read all the msgs I sent to you?
Then why isn't there a single reply?
Did you see the missed calls on your phone?
Your bros and I kept dialling.
Then why aren't you returning the calls?
Who was that at your door this morning?
Was that person the reason why you've been uncontactable since 10am?
Please contact us soon,because we are waiting,I am waiting...and going insane cuz you had never been like that.

P/S Mo Gui Tian Shi's 6901 doesn't collapse that easy isn't it?Den I believe you are fine.

Tuesday Night Fever,Not Saturday!

2008-07-02T02:07:00.000+08:00

And out of nowhere,I woke up with a high fever and bad sore throat.I looked myself in the mirror and my lips were pale.Tmr I'm so not going cancel my date with mont and weiyi to Obar.Argh.Mummy forced 2 panadols down my throat,had a bloody tough time swallowing it down.But it was really effective,cuz I'm feeling so much better already.I start to sweat and fever's gone!

Today is homeday for me.((:
Tmr's partynight for me.((:
Girls' Night.((:
Gossiptime.((:

Okay.I'm just blogging to tell you guys I'm sick.
And my condolences to jo's dad who passed away.Be strong girl!
And,for the chance you indirectly gave,thank you...best friend.

Thank you,for your porridge,for your collon and my fave nutella.
You're so appreciated.=D
And don't worry so much,take everything easy...i'm sure everything will turn out okay.take care ya?

Joce is FAT!

2008-06-29T04:47:00.000+08:00

I thinned my hair yesterday.now it's neater,like finally.AND i have no more bangs cuz I'm quite sick of it.LOL.It's centre-parting now.Nah.of course not,I'm not a geek.It's to the SIDE bodoh!

Oh yeah.Had my hair done together with mummy and aunt.We went all the way to Bukit Panjang,it's super far.Wanted to go shopping with mummy but I totally knocked out due to lack of sleep.So my uncle fetched me home.

Slept till late night when ping called.Wanted to head over to aljunied for supper but yuan's too tired to go so far.And did I mention I didn't eat anything for the whole of that day?Haha.met up with quan,yuan,bing & people for nasilemak at changi.I'm so fcuking fat now.Can't stand it!Went over to my cousin sister's house to have a talk with her.Hopefully there'll be a change in her someday.It hurts to see her rebel.

Went shopping with mummy and daddy this afternoon.It was a good day cuz I finally get to buy things.LOL.I haven't had any retail therapy for months.((:

Fetched my cousin sister to my house.Met up with quan and yuan again.((: Feifei is a nice place to eat,but prostitutes there hits my angry nerve.Brought her to geylang to see the mess,and of course,to see boobies!Haha.JOKE.Got psycho-ed into going OCH,OJS & Commando Camp.oh my god.all the sweaty palms and mess I got myself in.I got so freaked out,maybe cuz this is my first time there on a bike.It's so open,maciam no protection.Haha.My cousin heard stuff,and I felt chills run down my spine.Omfg.I'm so not going to go those eerie places again.Okay.All done.Deadbeat.Meeting up with dearling and chuan tmr.So miss.GOODNIGHT PEOPLE!and thank you to you for being there.

My cutiepie baby sister and I,and look at the dark rings under my eyes.

Story-telling.

2008-06-27T06:34:00.000+08:00

It's been ages since I met up with the girls.Finally,we gathered outside burger king catching up on stuffs.Who came along?There's mia,ash,wanying,weiyi,mont & wenbin.Wow to all those story-tellings.Goodness.It's like neverending.Haha.And the bonus part,as usual,THE GOSSIPS!lol.Mia,thanks for what you said to me when you gave me tt goodbye hug.you are so loved!

Heading to Obar with mont and weiyi,probably next wed.Drink till we drop!Haha.But who's gonna take care of me if I'm so going to make myself drunk?Mont said she'll start her usual naggings till I swear to go!Haha.she still love me,right babe?

Yuan and Quan came over to fetch me over to Geylang.Met up with Sam,ping,tongli,andrew & baobao.They had delicious steamboat without us!!..and only to realise ping forgot to bring her helmet along with her.Lol.So 3 of us went over to Joochiat for food den headed back to fetch her.

Loyang Tua Pei Kong is so sick of seeing us I guess(tt's what sam can't stop whining about).We ALWAYS end up there to pray.My bloody sickening GASTRIC is back.and I wonder how long it's going to last this time round.Argh.But it got better when I reached ping's house.Maybe cuz I laid down.More than satisfied cuz I had mac breakfast.Woo.

Tomorrow's homeday.Replenish my energy.And dearling.We'll meet up like next wk alright.With chuan!Maybe we can go for dimsum!((: MISSES.and mr.haigong,please continue this good habit.so far so good!I don't want experience another lowblood shit.
GOOD'NORNING'people!I'm off to watch Good Luck Chuck.Quite crude.
if u realise how cruel I am...

Label Me Correctly.

2008-06-26T05:43:00.000+08:00

HELLO PEOPLE.so this is my new blog.
And true enough,it's easier to remember my blog address since I'm always labelled as the hyperactive one.lol.but I might change my url someday though.

Another night out with the usuals.But quan didn't join us cuz he got work tmr.yuan came over to pick me.met up with sam,ping,andrew,tongli & baobao at tianxing.headed over to cozy bay cuz I've been thinking of going there since centuries ago,but it's CLOSED.no,I mean it's never going to open for business again.bloody hell.ended up at boat quay.let me double check the pub's name and I will let you guys know,never try ur luck practising ur vocals over there cuz you'll end up with a sore throat.unless you want to act sexy with some hoarse voice.the waitresses there probably didn't shout in their whole lifetime tt's why they used their chance to shout so loud when we were singing.HELLO.dumb attention-seekers.why make me curse and swear?shitheads.

Had supper back at macpherson with them,den yuan fetched me back home as usual.and that 'haigong' caused me an instant low-blood moment cuz I thought something bad happened to him on his way home.Bloodyhell.6901 better be smart.lol.Better don't play play.IMMA RACER.Haha.

Anyway.listen to this song people.

With the pictures as a bonus,it makes the song even more meaningful.
And thank you.