ChupaChups & Wonderboy

She's the designista wannabe.
And, a fucking faithful girlfriend.

PLURK.

TAGBOARD.Be nice.

Waiting for you.

2008-10-13 at 10/13/2008 07:30:00 PM

To even blog about you right now,my heart is aching so badly.What's worse than not having you by my side for 20days?Nothing could be worse.I'm so afraid of every night that comes along from now because I know I'll be alone at home,crying my eyes out because of you.I didn't want to tell you how vulnerable I feel,so it won't be mentioned till you're out.I want to be strong for you,even if I have to lie.Im sorry baby,but I can't bear for myself to be a burden to you when you're already feeling so emotionally worn out there.The moment court was dismissed,I know there wont be a miracle that the judge might return to his seat to change the sentence.The overflowing hurt in me was so unbearable I just couldn't refrain from bursting out into tears.When you were being handcuffed,the sound ascended into the echos of the solemn court.I was at a loss at that moment,I just know how badly I wanted to be there for you but I can't.How pathetic it is to see you being escorted into the room that I can never enter,and how hurtful it was to see that smile of yours yet in tears.Baby,you're so strong,even till the last sec we parted ways...you didn't want me to feel upset,you didn't want me to see you flooded with tears,so you swallowed them down and showed me the smile I always loved.I cried all the way,I didn't even care how people looked at me.I don't care a fcuk,because all I knew I just left someone so important to me behind.Baby you promised to hold my hand in the car back home,just like how you did when we headed there.But I took your seat in the end,and the one sitting beside me wasn't you but your sister.I don't know how to keep life going for the next 20 days,I don't know what to do,when I know I'll cry to sleep every night and wake up with tears every morning.Your dad fetched me over to chermont's place after getting my stuffs from your place.It already felt so different because I never was at your place without you around.I packed quickly and left,I just felt myself in a huge mess.That indescribable pain inside me,I was going crazy.I cried once I reached her place,before she could even lock her doorgates.I stepped on her toes and I didn't even apologies cuz I felt so tight I couldn't utter any word out of me.Baby I said I was prepared,but apparently I was living in denial all the time.Till today,I realised I wasn't ready for you leaving me alone over here,I need you,like everyday.It is my bad,for all the lies I made that I didn't even know I said.I know it's miserable inside there,how I hope I could be there calming you down,holding your hands tight to mine so you won't start gripping your own hands ever so violently you might hurt yourself.Please,for you I beg...please don't exert violence on yourself.I want to see you the way you were on 3rd November.Every second is a step closer to hugging you again.I miss you badly already,but I know you can't be here.It's okay baby,I understand.I met up with ys together with chermont and nicole.Nic bought my fave rojak and red milk tea,for me.It's been long but girl,thanks for being there once again.All appreciated.Headed over to tm with chermont,ys and auntie.She paid for the books we picked for you.Baby I picked a F1 magazine for you,ys picked a bike magazine for you,and I picked a book about rules of life for you,through agreement with our bookworm chermont.Auntie wanted to get you harry potter but we weren't sure of which book you were at.

Baby,feel lucky you have the best brothers in your life.For a small sketch book I bought to write to you,Willie came down all the way from school,Aaron came from camp,Boon's coming later.Just to write something to you.Plus,ys and chermont accompanied me to everywhere I went after I left your house just now.Bing's working,Huanghui's busy,Kheehong's in camp.But all of them cared really alot.And auntie just called to ask me over for dinner at your place,but I really didn't have the appetite but I'll visit them as soon as possible so no worries alright?

I love you baby,it's another tormenting 20days.